AN IVF JOURNEY OF LOSS AND JOY

An emotional IVF roller-coaster journey resulted in Michelle Fragias conceiving triplets, only to lose them all at 19 weeks. The founder of online store Cheekybubs eventually experienced intense joy when she safely delivered two beautiful twin boys.

When Mark and I married in 1999, we knew parenthood was something we were unlikely to ever experience, as I had been told at the age of 13 that I was unable to fall pregnant. Although there was no-one better prepared for fatherhood than Mark, we were devoted to each other and we enjoyed a life of wedded bliss.

Our relationship was stronger than ever and within two and a half years of our marriage we'd travelled overseas and embarked on a number of business ventures together. Family and friends commended our active lifestyle and we were proud of how much we'd achieved as a couple.

However, it was one afternoon between appointments as I watched a mother and child enjoying a beautiful Tuesday afternoon together at the park that I began to feel a longing for a child of my own. I knew it was time to emerge from my high-pressure lifestyle of business and deadlines and answer my true calling - motherhood. Of course Mark was elated and we wasted no time in visiting the fertility clinic.

After a number of tests we were advised that IVF would be our most hopeful avenue to explore. Despite some initial hesitation we tried IVF for a year without success. I became disheartened but decided to attend an IVF seminar, which dispelled my previous misconceptions and restored my faith in the IVF process. At the seminar I met Raewyn Tierney, who became a true friend and took us under her wing in 2002 as we gave IVF another try. Once again it failed. I couldn't bear to be let down again, so I immersed myself in work and continued to build my business, until the following year when I undertook yet another IVF cycle. The anxiety I experienced while waiting to find out if the IVF had been successful was extremely difficult.

However, this time it was worth every moment of unrest and we found out that we'd finally been blessed with a pregnancy! The joy and gratitude that Mark and I felt was immense. I was seven weeks pregnant at our first ultrasound when the sonographer informed us that I was carrying twins. We became concerned when the doctor and sonographer exchanged a few whispered words, until moments later when the doctor turned to us and said, ‘I'm sorry, you are not having twins. You're having triplets.’ Mark and I experienced a spectrum of emotions. We were both enraptured and nervous at the same time.

At 12 weeks, during our second ultrasound, we were told that I was carrying a set of identical twins plus another baby. However, we had to consult specialists when we found out that one of the twins was extremely unwell with a very rare condition called Pentalogy of Cantrell which causes the internal organs to develop on the outside of the body. Specialists from here and overseas advised us about the possibilities of surgery after birth, terminating the pregnancy or carrying on the pregnancy at high risk. Despite the options available to us, they all seemed bleak. Eventually we decided to follow through with the pregnancy and let nature take its course.

At 19 and a half weeks I went into labour. After an eight hour labour I gave birth to all three girls only to lose them shortly after they were born. We were blessed with three angels who were taken away just as quickly as they were given to us. The nightmare of losing a child left us truly heartbroken. Once again I took refuge in my work and held on to the hope that we might be given a second chance.

Four months after our loss, we tried IVF again and were met once more with disappointment. After another three months we took our chances again and found that our prayers were finally answered. Although we were pregnant, we waited until we'd passed the dreaded first 19 and a half week period before we allowed ourselves to become really excited. At 20 weeks we began shopping for furniture and preparing for parenthood. Of course there was still a lingering feeling of uncertainty, but I knew deep down that everything would turn out all right.

We were having twins once again. They were both healthy and so was I, until I reached 24 weeks and three days when I began to notice some of the same symptoms as my last pregnancy. I went to the Royal Women's Hospital in Sydney immediately, where I undertook several tests. Four hours later our worst fears were realised when the doctors discovered that once again we would encounter a complicated pregnancy and I was officially admitted as a high-risk pregnancy.

The doctors said they would run further tests in a few days. In the meantime, they advised constant bed rest as the pressure of twins can sometimes be the cause of complications.

After two days, we discovered I was dilated and were sure that I'd be giving birth within the next couple of days. It wasn’t until nine weeks later that I was diagnosed with a dynamic cervix, which causes pregnant women to appear dilated. After nine long, stressful weeks of constant bed rest and minimal activity the doctors concluded that it was safe for me to return home at 33 weeks.

At 34 weeks and five days I delivered our two beautiful boys - Peter and James. Although the journey was long and painful at times, the arrival of our sons made it all worthwhile. It is impossible to describe the intensity of our love for them. They have truly been a gift to me, my husband and our family

Visit cheekybubs.com.au for a range of unique products, mostly made and engineered by other mums and parents. A small percentage of profits is donated towards support of IVF and antenatal services.

You can also share your experience on losing a child in the My Child forum. Click here.