Q I’m thinking of having another baby. Does having two young children become exponentially harder?

A Having a newborn is never easy, no matter how many times you’ve done it before, and does become more difficult for a short time while you get the hang of it. Dealing with a new baby and the needs of a toddler who has had his little world rocked by the arrival of a new sibling is challenging to say the least. Although you know what to expect from a baby the second time around, the chances of the baby being just like your older child are pretty slim and you have no experience in parenting two children at the same time. It’s not all hard work and no fun though. Once your kids get a little older, it becomes easier having two than one. They have each other for company, they learn how to deal with conflict and they have someone who is there for them throughout their life.

Norwest Private Hospital Wendy Hawke February 2010
 

QWhat should I expect in the delivery room?

A Obviously the most important thing to expect is to birth in the least complicated way and to have a healthy mum and baby at the end of it all! However, the experience is extremely variable.
Prior to labour, it’s a good idea to have had a tour of your chosen birthing unit. This familiarises you with where to go on the day and what facilities are available, helping to lessen anxiety. If this is your first baby, a more comprehensive course of birth and parenting classes (which usually includes a tour of your chosen birthing unit) provides information on recognising signs of labour, things to help you cope with labour, the stages of labour, normal birth, and what may happen if things are not entirely normal in your labour, such as assisted vaginal delivery or Caesarean. This information helps you cope better in early labour and in knowing when to make your way to hospital. Try not to have a fixed “birth plan” but understand your options and be flexible with your expectations along the way.

Once there you should expect supportive staff, who listen, assess your needs and respond appropriately. If something is happening that you don’t understand, it is important you feel you can ask questions and receive answers that explain things adequately.
Most birthing units are happy for you to have one or two people around to make you feel as supported as possible. Generally, if all is normal in your labour, you will be attended by midwives, and doctors tend to only become involved if things are travelling outside of expected boundaries (unless you are a private patient and then your doctor may become involved along the way even if all is normal).

Remember the day of birth is only one day, and most women and their babies recover well from whatever type of birth they have.
 

Q How do I know if my baby is getting enough milk when I am breastfeeding?

A The best way to judge whether or not your baby is getting enough milk is by observing him or her during a feed. The baby should display good patterns of swallowing throughout, becoming more relaxed and sleepy as the feed progresses.

In a breastfed baby we watch what goes out – not what goes in. Urine output should be at least six pale yellow to clear wet nappies each day. Bowel movements in a young baby should
initially be one to two yellow poos each day, enough to cover a 50-cent piece (but it could be more). An older baby may only use its bowels to a much greater extent once or twice a fortnight; as long as the baby is exclusively breastfed, constipation is not an issue. A baby who is wetting and dirtying plenty of nappies cannot be underfed – it has to come from somewhere!

Don’t become too hung-up on weight. The rules about weight gain are taken from the observation of growth from formula-fed babies, and don’t necessarily relate to breastfed infants.

Marjorie Watharow February 2010

Q I‘m considering bringing up my child in a bilingual environment. Would this be confusing and how should I go about it?
 
A No, this will not confuse your child. Speaking two languages is like any other skill. To do it well, children need lots of practise, which parents can help provide. Without practise, it may be difficult for children to understand or talk to people in both languages.

It will be easier and more practical if one or both parents are bilingual, and if you speak to the child in the second language at home and in English or the dominant language when out and about. Introducing the second language when you are together in the car or shopping for groceries is an ideal learning environment.

You may want to read stories in your second language, sing songs and watch DVDs. The best result will come from using the second language in a fun and informal manner.

Janet Cater February 2010

Q I was advised by a toy-shop owner to give my son, who’s one, only two to three toys at a time to play with, and swap them for others every few days, or he could have trouble learning to concentrate. Is this correct?

A Have you been into a toy shop lately? We are truly spoilt for choice. While it is not necessary to buy your child lots of toys, the ones he has need to be varied in terms of shape, colour, texture, design and purpose. Many of the key skills your child acquires during his first few years will take place in the context of play. Toys can stimulate creativity, broaden the imagination, enhance concentration, promote social interaction and foster important motor skills. But too many toys can inhibit creativity and reduce concentration. If you feel your child is overwhelmed, put some toys away in a cupboard and rotate them on a weekly or fortnightly basis. Look to your child for cues as to what interests him and make sure these toys are accessible. Provide developmentally appropriate toys, as a toy he is not yet able to understand may result in frustration, while one that he has outgrown may lead to boredom. Choose toys wisely and remember that the most important plaything your child has is you!

Dr Cathrine Neilsen-Hewett May 2006