By Cara Barilla
In 2017, we are surrounded by positive movements of the “modern Family”. There are children with adopted families, half-siblings, step-siblings, and step-parents. There is no right or wrong in today’s society as to what defines a family. Parents are constantly baffled to exercise good parenting. As we are being forced to relate to our children’s quirky new interests, whether it’s the latest phone app, a new sport which has only been invented just 2 years ago and understanding their favorite band deriving from a completely new genre of music! Whether you understand these new 2017 traits or not, the prime foundation to a healthy relationship between stepfather and child is primarily to aid in the comfort of the child when living In a divorced family.
The responsibility of a stepdad may be purely simple; as long as the father is there to show love, support and positive habits of a healthy role model and to gain emphasis in the child’s development in a completely positive and structured manner. As your new stepchild lives under the same roof as you they are constantly absorbing your personal traits, interests, speech and behavior. Here are some indicators to gain additional manageability to endure a devoting, naturally progressive relationship.
Whether it’s for a school play or an outside hobby, truly understanding the ins and outs of your step child’s schedule are crucial for bonding. Once you become mindful of your child’s intricate life, your stepchild will definitely know that you have made the conscious effort to be involved, and make the effort to help them with their needs. If you see your stepchild sad or even happy, it’s nice to chat about where that feeling came from and how you can be involved to help that scenario for example; if your stepchild comes home from school feeling sad, getting involved and allowing your stepchild to feel that it’s okay to open up to you to elaborate their feelings will not only grow a stronger feeling of confidence to your stepchild, they will feel more trust between the two of you; ensure you can involve yourself in finding a positive solution.
Accepting there is another “father figure” other than yourself may be hard. Even though you are living under the same roof as your stepchild, they will always relate certain situations to their biological father even though they see more of you. It’s completely normal for your stepchild to always bring up their biological dad, it’s a normal healing process of being in a divorced situation therefore feeling the wholeness & completion of “family” is important to your stepchild. You have to be the one who makes the first move in terms of bonding, assisting, giving helpful advice and knowledge as your little stepchild depends on you for guidance. Even though you may be titled “stepdad”, your role is a whole lot more significant in their life as they see you 24/7 seven days a week.
Playtime is crucial to the bonding of stepfather and child. It builds trust, self-esteem, connects both of your sense of humour together and aids in lightheartedness after playing the role of the “parent”. Being a part of your stepchild’s playtime makes them feel comfortable to you. Not only that, you are giving up a part of your leisure time, which instantly increases likeliness. Whether you are taking them to the park to play ball, making quirky jokes, playing arts and crafts together, sharing interests in video games, or watching a funny movie of their choice, these will subsequently aid in a warm, trusting relationship between the two of you. It’s important to find out what your stepchild’s hobbies and interests are and to build from that. You will find this is an easy way to opening your stepchild’s trust and warmth to you.
Support and bring out the best of them
Support is a huge factor in any child’s life. Knowing they have high quality love, support and guidance in their household will instantly build up their self-esteem, confidence and self-worth. Understand what it is that your stepchild likes to do and encourage them to do that for the good of the community. For example, if your stepchild likes to sing, you should encourage them to sign up to the local community choir, church choir or music group. Encouraging children on their interests not only brings out the best of them, it will aid their capabilities in the future. This will whole heartedly bind their confidence to go for what they want in life when making sensible life and career choices. Taking steps like these will create confident and success-driven adults. When there’s positive support, there is always a pathway to success.
Gain their trust
Trust is a vital element in a child and adult’s life. Trust can bring a strong foundation of comfortability and openness to love in their childhood, adolescence and adulthood. It’s healthy to show examples that reflect to the child that you are trustworthy as a parent, friend and role model. It may start off asking them to share their day with you, no matter how small the gesture is. Knowing they have a consistent healthy role model they can trust will give them a sense of appreciation towards you. You will be the heart of their important milestones in their life.
The importance of a parental role model solely plays a vital highlight into a child’s life. This will impact their life choices, bound their disposition and play an effect on their personality. Having a fit father figure in their life will not only build self-assurance, it will consequently increase accomplishment in their family household.