I often enough wonder how I’m doing as a mum. Am I good? Bad? Somewhere in the middle? Miraculously great maybe? Haha! But in all honesty does it really matter? Why am I bothering trying to work out if I’m any good when my kids are stuck with me anyway?! Poor darlings (insert evil laugh here). They never stood a chance, haha! Of course I’m always going to question my worth in everything I do. I swear it’s built into my DNA. I am my own worst enemy with everything I do! (Yes my dearest darling husband I see you nodding your head)!
We are all busy trying to outdo each other, criticise our choices or just generally bringing each other down, for what seems like no reason at all. By we, I mean mums (and sometimes dads too). I just can’t fathom why and I’m not exempt from it all either. But really, why? Why does it happen? (Now I sound like my three-year-old). Mum-shaming, judgement, criticism, whichever word you choose or whatever way you look at it, no one wins. Yes “we” all do it but there is a big difference (huge even) between voicing your opinion behind closed doors and on a public level.
And it has got to stop. We spend enough time second guessing ourselves in front of our kids. And don’t they know it. They know when you’re down and they thrive on it! But behind the scenes we should be backing each other, picking each other up when we are falling down. Who am I kidding?! Let’s all just fall, fail and give up disgracefully together.
Being a parent is tough. Yes, it’s something you choose to do but that doesn’t necessarily take away from the complexity of the role. It’s a full time gig. Days, nights, all day and all night at times. You can enjoy lots of fun one minute and then endure rounds of what feels like endless torture the next, especially when they can talk and scream and yell and stamp their feet. I’m sure you get the picture.
Have kids “they” said, it’s the best thing you will ever do. It’ll be fun. (Insert evil laugh here again). Oh yeah, it’s about as much fun as watching chocolate melt and then knowing you can’t eat it. And we all know how much chocolate means to me. Oh look, I have said often enough I love my girls and nothing will ever change that. They really are everything to me.
But every person has a breaking point or an end of their tether and trust me when I say the tiny humans (and I’m sure the bigger versions are just as bad) seem to have a knack to find your point of no return particularly when you are not on your game. It really would be easier if each child came with their very own personalised set of instructions but that might make things a tad too easy and there would definitely be no challenge.
There is no easy way to fix things, especially with kids. You will feel like a failure 999% of the time. That’s not a typo, I did say 999% of the time. And let’s face it, maths was never my strong point. Kids are exhausting. They somehow turn themselves into bundles of pure boundless energy when you have nothing left. They just know! I’ve often wondered how you can love someone so much one minute and the next you are filled with an almost seething rage. But then you see the cutest smile or they give you a cuddle and suddenly things become okay again, well for a few minutes anyway.
It’s already been a crazy few months in our house especially with my little baby turning one and now the silly season is upon us. It’s definitely going to get crazier. All I want for Christmas is two minutes of peace (haha!). Don’t worry I think I’ll keep dreaming for another decade yet. On that note, from my crazy beautiful little family to yours, I hope you all have an amazing Christmas and an even better start to 2017. Whatever your little darlings throw your way, try to keep smiling and know that it will get better…..one day.
You can read about more of my “fun-filled” days and nights through my blog www.shereeechlin.com.