Written by Jana Angeles
There are moments in your life where being a parent will throw you many challenges. These challenges will anger you, frustrate you and will oftentimes make you second guess your strategies when it comes to positive parenting. As we’ve mentioned several times before, parents aren’t perfect but that doesn’t mean there are times where we want to lose our minds when our children are not listening to us.
It becomes more and more difficult once our child starts to annoy and disobey us for whatever reason. Some days, it’s hard to look past that and it makes us question how we ended up so disappointed in ourselves to get to that point. Violence is never the answer towards our children so if you think that smacking is a temporary solution to “set things straight” with them, you’re thinking wrong. So why should you say no to smacking?
Smacking will teach your children that violence is socially acceptable
Parents often forget how influential their actions are towards their children, so showing any form of violence will make them think it’s socially acceptable to hit others when they are angry or frustrated. When we want our kids to adopt good manners and respectable behaviour, we should be self-aware on what actions we showcase and how they influence them as individuals.
Smacking won’t fix the problem
There are no positive outcomes that come out of smacking your child. Despite its efforts of keeping your children out of trouble, it won’t fix the problems you’re having with each other if you’re not allowing yourselves to listen or talk with your children. Smacking only encourages them to avoid conflict when they make a mistake.
Smacking lowers their self-esteem
Smacking is degrading for children because it showcases power over them. Having parental authority can be a grey area for some as smacking can be seen as a way to let children know they’ve done something wrong. Smacking puts your child in the position where they are weak and vulnerable and taking advantage of that can make them feel uncomfortable. This can lead to low self-esteem in the future if smacking is used consistently as a form of discipline.
As you can see, smacking does not benefit your child in any way shape or form. Though it may be an easier option for parents, it doesn’t fix anything and will prevent you and your child from forming a positive relationship. There are ways for parents to avoid smacking their children and these tips below will help you manage your thoughts and feelings if you feel like there’s no other alternative!
- Suggest time out for your children: sending them to their room can help them collect their thoughts and think about what they’ve done to upset you.
- Go to the bathroom: if you feel like you’re losing your cool, go to the bathroom and take deep breaths in and out. Try and remain calm, maybe even scream a little if you feel like it.
- Cut TV time: cutting down screen time, as a consequence, can teach your children how to respect you. Imagine going days without the TV? Neither can they.
- Spend more time as a family outdoors: maybe the reason why your child is acting up is because they’ve been seeking attention from you? Getting out of the house and doing something as a family can help them realise the true value of family time.
- Cut processed foods: junk food especially products containing sugar can be harmful to your child’s health. Encourage them to eat more fruits and vegetables. This can provide a chemical balance in your child’s brain especially and will give them the daily nutrients they need to grow.
- Have realistic expectations: remember that parenting requires baby steps and that there is no perfect way to raise your children. Be patient and considerate of your child’s feelings and praise them when they show progression towards positive behaviour.
Though smacking has been something parents have done back in the day, it’s important to consider the alternatives. How you react as a parent, especially towards the disrespectful behaviour your children, matters in the future. We should all aim and implement positive parenting strategies to better ourselves as parents while also raising confident and respectful human beings.