Written by Lance Green
Just like all to be mothers, all to be fathers have a tendency to Freak the F*#K out! Rather than it happening while the baby is safely being kept in the on-demand hotel of their mother’s womb, that little switch for dads seems to be clicked on once the baby arrives. The fatherhood journey is the wonderful unknown, but once bub arrives, you wish you would’ve had paid attention during all those classes your partner made you attend.
Freaking out when becoming a new dad is more common than you think. Many a man has been clueless on the arrival on their child and has had to face challenges they didn’t even know existed and yet they have somehow survived.
Here’s the list of the top 6 top things that most new dads freaked out about
1. THE BIRTH
Thinking you’re prepared and actually being in the delivery room are two totally different things. Your once sweet and loving partner who has assured you over and over again that everything will be alright will turn into a raging lunatic that you barely recognise – this is completely normal. Between the contractions, which for her is the most painful part of labour, the screams of pain and the crying out like she is never going to survive this ordeal, you’ll end up feeling helpless and a bit useless. On top of all of this, there is a chance she could poop herself in the final stages of pushing out the baby, so make sure you do not regurgitate your last meal!
Just remember the old analogy that she is literally “pushing a watermelon out of a lemon”. You need to keep a level head, be the encouraging (not overbearing) support she needs right now. You’ll forget that person once the baby arrives and takes its first breath aka cry…
2. ARE YOU REALLY READY TO BE A DAD?
Well too late now, it’s happening! Again, this is another really common freak out moment for new dads and for some reason it happens once your child is out of the womb. Don’t worry too much, the chances are at some point you’ll screw up, all parents do (yep even mums – but don’t tell them that). There is no instruction booklet on how to be a dad, just remember that they need a lot of love and attention so spending time and building a strong bond is the best thing you can do in becoming a good dad.
3. BABY BEING SICK
When your baby is sick the first few times, it can be a little overwhelming to say the least. Dr. Google can be your worst enemy or your best friend, just keep your cool, no doubt the first-time mother is losing her s*&t! The best thing to do is for you and your partner to take your baby to the GP for a check-up to make sure it’s nothing serious. After a few visits to let you know that bub will live, you’ll start to know if it’s worth the GP visit or not.
4. BABY POO
Cleaning your baby’s genital area is all part of the package and it’s gotta be done. Whether you’re dealing with a Poo Explosion or a Pooey Vagina, working out the best way to clean up the mess can sometimes make new dads get brain freeze. My rule of thumb is if you can get it off with 2x wet wipes (with your baby girl’s vagina, you should always wipe from front to back), then run the warm water in the laundry tub, sink or bath and give them a little wash off with some baby soap or wash. If you still need a bit of guidance, call in the Mrs! She’ll no doubt give you a step by step so you don’t forget anything.
Once upon a time silence was golden. Now with a newborn, silence gets to you like you never imagined. Whether is day or night, the moment you actually get a few minutes of blissful silence, you’ll start to worry about the baby. You’ll go to check on baby and if you’re an unlucky you may even wake him/her and that can be disastrous. Save yourself the stress and worry and grab yourself a baby monitor. You’ll be able to keep an eye on baby without having to get up or wake them up.
6. BABY COSTS
Money issues can break a relationship. Add in baby costs and you may feel like you’re going to sink before you can swim. If money is tight, work on a budget so you have a realistic idea of your finances and then you can work on what’s a priority and what’s really needed. Don’t be a snob, pick up some second-hand stuff like a cot, a pram and hand me down clothes and toys from friends and relatives. Believe it or not, you won’t be using these things for long so spending thousand is just a waste. Provide the best you can for your child, they won’t remember if they had the last and greatest gadgets, but they will remember how much time and love you showered them with!
These 6 common freak outs, all new dad’s experience. Don’t worry too much, it’s normal and as time goes by you’ll wonder why you ever had these fears. You will make mistakes and screw up throughout your parenting journey and that normal too. Although you may feel like a failure sometimes, just remember that there are other dads experiencing the exact same thing. Talk to dad friends about your freak outs and I’m sure they’ll have some wonderful and useful advice to share with you. If you’re finding it hard to deal with your freak outs and can’t overcome them, its best to seek professional help to get you on track!