5 Ways To Ease Separation Anxiety in Babies
Written by Jana Angeles
It’s challenging to get to the stage where your babies are approaching their toddler years. You may have finished up your maternity leave and want to go back to work. You’ve decided that you’re ready to leave them with a trusted caregiver – either the people working in childcare or a close relative. The decision of leaving your baby is never an easy task and separation anxiety can happen in babies.
The crying, the clinging and the tantrums seem to never stop and unfortunately, we do eventually have to leave our babies behind. The guilt creeps up to us eventually and we’re left with questioning whether our choices as a parent are good enough. Separation anxiety won’t exist forever and you definitely don’t need to feel like you’re being a bad parent just because you need to work! We look at the ways that could help with your baby’s separation anxiety:
Offer them reassurance
A hug and a cuddle may do the trick when it comes to your baby’s separation anxiety. Even acknowledging everything will be okay can help just that little bit. Offering reassurance to your baby and speaking to them like they understand will help them listen. It helps to speak in a calm tone and using words of comfort like, ‘Everything will be okay’ or ‘I promise I will come back’. Having the right attitude as well as knowing what to say can help them breathe easy for a while.
Play games
Playing ‘peek-a-boo’ or singing their favourite nursery rhymes can help them get distracted from your baby’s anxiety. Since these games are quite cheerful, it gives them the same feeling and can even give them a bit of a boost. Although you may need to hang around for a bit when dropping them off at the childcare or to your relative’s place, you can see it as an opportunity to bond with your baby before you leave them. When they pull a smile or laugh, you’ll feel a bit better knowing that you’ve reduced their anxiety for a bit.
Always say goodbye to your baby and tell them you will return
Say it like you mean it when saying goodbye to your baby. Although their listening skills may not be as developed, they will notice if you don’t say goodbye to them. Even though they may not be paying attention, they can sense your absence. Don’t leave them hanging, even if they are quite clingy towards you. Always say goodbye and tell them that you will return to them soon. The hardest part is leaving but in most instances, they may have forgotten you left in the first place. Time goes by quick!
Aim to always create a peaceful and calm environment
When your baby is in an environment that is peaceful and calm, they will feel the same. Home is what you make of it and your main priority should be to nurture your family home and try to keep it stable for your baby. Although life can be quite hectic and there are circumstances which happen out of your control, you can still do your best to keep them relaxed, easing their separation anxiety away. If you feel like your house is cluttered, rearrange it. If you need to add more decoration to add vibrancy, do it. Start off simply by including household items, which can help create a nice ambience to your home. Lighting up some lovely smelling candles or incense can help your baby feel safe and secure.
Be calm and try to keep your emotions in control
Although it can be extremely frustrating to have your baby cling on to you and hearing them wailing when you’re leaving them behind, it’s important as parents that we do our best to be composed and keep our emotions in control. As difficult as it may be, if your attitude is calm and positive, your baby will start to reflect this too. However, it is okay if you need to vent or let your frustrations out for a bit, but do this in a healthy way. Do not take it out on your baby. It is not their fault they are feeling this way. It could be because they are not used to you being away for long periods of time. Be patient and soon enough, they will be comfortable enough to be left alone with their assigned caregivers.
Separation anxiety in babies is quite common, so don’t worry if you feel like it’s not a normal thing to experience. It pays off to be calm and patient because your babies are too young to understand the anxiety they feel. You need to give them the time and space to do better each time you leave them for a while. It’s normal as a parent to feel guilty for leaving, but it will work itself out once they start to find their feet of independence as they reach the stage of going to school and making new friends.