A Parent’s Guide to Sharing Your Sexual Orientation With Your Children

June 30, 2025 /

Deciding to share your sexual orientation with your kids is a big, personal decision. It involves being open and trusting that your honesty will help them understand and improve your relationship. In Australia, as more people accept and support LGBTQ+ people, lots of parents feel better about being themselves and sharing their lives with their children.

Still, every family is different, so thinking about how you talk to your children can really affect how they understand and react. This article has some tips and advice to guide you as you tell your kids with confidence and love.

Why It Matters to Tell Your Kids

Being open about your sexual orientation can:

  • Build trust and honesty in your family.
  • Show your kids how to accept themselves.
  • Help them learn to care about, understand, and respect different people.
  • Lessen secrets or bad feelings.
  • Make your relationship better by sharing who you are.

Keep in mind that it’s your choice to share. There’s no one way to do it, but getting ready and being real can make it easier.

When Is a Good Time?

The timing is important. Think about:

  • How you feel: Are you ready and do you have support?
  • How old and mature your child is: Young kids might need simpler explanations, but teens can talk about more complicated things.
  • Your home life: Is your home a safe and supportive place? Will other family or friends affect how your child reacts?
  • Your safety: If you don’t feel safe, get support first or wait until you feel safer.

Trust your gut. You don’t have to hurry—take the time you need to get ready.

Tips for Telling Your Kids

1. Plan What to Say

Consider what you want your kids to know. Keep it simple, honest, and right for their age. For example:

  • For young kids: “Mom/Dad loves someone who is the same gender.”
  • For teens: “I want to tell you I’m gay/lesbian/bisexual/transgender because I trust you.”

Use words that feel right to you and your family.

2. Be Real and Honest

Kids appreciate it when you’re honest. Share how you feel and assure them that you still love them just the same. Show them how to accept and feel good about yourself.

3. Get Ready for How They Might React

Kids might react in different ways:

  • They might be curious and ask questions.
  • They might be surprised or confused.
  • They might accept and support you.
  • They also might feel worried or sad.

Be patient and let them feel what they need to feel. Let them know they can ask questions and talk to you when they’re ready.

4. Use Words They Understand

Explain things in a way that makes sense for their age:

  • Young kids: Keep it simple, like “I love someone of the same gender.”
  • Tweens and teens: Give more details and be ready to talk about things like relationships, identity, and respect.

5. Make Them Feel Secure

Tell them that you still love them and always will. Make sure they know that your relationship is strong and you love them no matter what.

6. Find Helpful Resources

Books, websites, or groups for kids and families can be useful. Organizations like “PFLAG” in Australia or local LGBTQ+ groups have useful information and support.

7. Be Patient

Kids might need some time to understand. Be patient and keep talking about it. It’s not just one conversation—it’s a way to understand and accept each other better.

8. Get Support for Yourself

Sharing this can be hard. Talk to friends, counselors, or LGBTQ+ groups to share how you feel and get support.

Addressing Common Concerns

  • Will my kids be okay?
    Most kids do fine when they feel loved and supported. Talking openly and making them feel secure helps.
  • What if they react badly?
    Stay calm and listen to how they feel. Reassure them and get help if you need it. Remember, how they react is often part of them trying to understand.
  • Should I tell other family members first?
    Think about your safety, your family, and who will support you. Sometimes, having a safe place first makes you feel stronger.

The Rules and Culture in Australia

In Australia, the laws protect LGBTQ+ people, and many families are open to different kinds of families. While more people are accepting, some might still have different opinions. Make sure you feel safe and good.

Some families or communities might have old beliefs that affect how they react. Talk to them with patience and understanding, and get help from local LGBTQ+ groups that understand the culture.

Sharing your sexual orientation with your kids is a brave and loving thing to do. It might seem scary, but it’s also a chance to create honesty, trust, and love in your family. Remember, being yourself can teach your kids about accepting others, being different, and being true to themselves.

Take your time, get ready, and trust that your love and honesty will help your family understand. With support and patience, you can build a stronger family that loves and accepts who you are.

Good for you for being brave and committed—your truth is a gift to yourself and your kids.