Backing Each Other Up – Divide and Conquer
Written by Jana Angeles
Parenting is no walk in the park. You deal with dirty dishes, extra piles of laundry and cooking larger meals to feed the family. Before you had children, you and your partner would’ve enjoyed each other’s company – going out to the movies, fine dining and travelling each year to a different country. Things change when you have kids and it’s definitely not fun having a toddler boss you around!
Enough is enough. As parents, you should be on the same team so you can win over your battles with your children. This will help you not get side-tracked and be firm when it comes to your weaknesses. Here are some ways you can show your kid who’s boss, helping you resist temptation of caving in to their every word.
Set Some Boundaries
There are simple things to reduce fights between you and your children and that is to set some boundaries. Whether it’s reducing the time they spend on technology, having adequate reading time or doing homework before they do all the “fun” stuff, it’s important that as parents you know when to set them. Work together and justify what needs to be set in order to save the arguments and be on the same page as each other. Make sure you know what is expected from your children and how you can enable positive parenting behaviour.
Be Flexible and Work Together
Mocking and teasing each other about how you parent can cause inevitable arguments and won’t be healthy for your relationship. Work together so you can be flexible when it comes to said arrangements and offer helpful feedback on what can be improved. Don’t automatically shut each other out when it comes to differing opinions. Work through them and allow each other to grow and nurture each other’s parenting style. If you’re both completely different on how you parent, show each other respect and kindness – this will enable your relationship to be balanced and can inspire you both to become better parents.
Debrief
Communication is key when it comes to being parents. There is no use being passive or ignorant when it comes to the relationship between your partner and your children. Listen to what your partner has to say, be open to criticism and have a healthy discussion on what’s working and what isn’t. The perfect time to do this is when your children are occupied with an activity or if they are in bed. Healthy discussions can allow you to back each other up when needed or step in and handle the ropes as well.
Show That You Love Each Other
Love is a grand thing and it’s sad to think that most of us take it for granted. Yes, parenting has its draining moments. We’re constantly tired and feel like there’s no energy left when it comes to other things in our lives. To showcase a stable and nurturing environment to your children, have balance in each other’s relationship and spend adequate couple time each week.
Catch up properly without the kids – this could be the perfect way to validate the goals you set for each other, have more deep and meaningful conversations and an opportunity to learn something new as individuals. Your children will admire how you work together to get through problems and will see that their parents are healthy role models, forming a basis on all of their future relationships.
Relationships take a lot of work. Add kids to the equation and the workload increases by tenfold. As parents, you should back each other up, make compromises and spend adequate time with one another as a couple. Not only will you treasure each other’s company, but this will allow you to better communicate with each other when it’s needed – especially when your kids try to rule your world!