DAD’S MOODS LINKED TO CHILD DEVELOPMENT
Written by: Caroline Meyer
Life is full of stress and anxiety. Add to this worrying about not being a good enough Dad and not being able to give them everything you think you should and the pressure can become very intense. This can lead to you becoming grumpy, depressed and generally in a bad mood. Studies show that these bad moods can actually effect your child’s behavioural and mental development.
You have to take time out for yourself. You need to relax and pursue some of your own hobbies and stress relieving activities to improve your mood and actually improve your effect on your children. Michigan State University recently published findings detailing how Dad’s mental health and mood can have an effect, either positive or negative depending on the moods displayed in front of the children. This means it is even more important to chill out and be in a better mood when you are around your kids.
The study was done based on 730 families, based mainly in low-income groups. The study examined parenting-related stress and set questionnaires for the parents and examined development in the children, especially toddlers and young children. Parents that demonstrated a more negative view towards parenting and their children such as feeling trapped by their responsibilities or feeling that their children do not hold affection for them, were determined to have higher parenting stress. These fathers had children that showed significantly lower than average language development. Their language skills at age 3 were below the average and this impacted both boys and girls. Sons appeared to be impacted more than daughters. The study also found, that even if Mum was very positive and optimistic towards parenting, children with Dads who had poor moods and high stress were still negatively influenced.
Over the long term, the mental health of both parents had a significant effect on behaviour and cognitive development but depression on the part of Dad during the infant years had a lot more influence than that of the Mum. In the past it was believed that Dads only set the tone in the household but the Mum had the most influence on the children, but this study showed that both parents had an impact with fathers have direct effects on children’s mental health, behaviour and development over the short and long term. One good outcome of the study was to indicate that fathers have a positive impact as well as a negative depending on their outlook. If fathers take on larger parenting roles, show less stress and unhappiness and are more optimistic in their parenting styles, they can offer beneficial effects to their children’s development.
Dads can have a huge impact on their son’s language skills and sons are also more likely to emulate their father in speech and behaviours. Girls are also effected, but to a lesser degree. So Dad, unless you want your toddler cursing like a sailor, you might want to curse in “sherbet” and “biscuits” in future. High levels of depression can also impact toddler’s social skills negatively. If you find you are suffering from high levels of stress, anxiety and even depression, you might want to consult a professional to reduce the potential impact on your children and obviously for the betterment of your own mental health.
In the words of the best actors, sometimes you have to fake it until you make it. Don’t be afraid to ask for help and do your best to stay optimistic and positive around the kids. Parenting is a joint endeavour and if you find you are not coping, open up to your partner, parent or friend to get assistance. Taking care of your own mental health means offer a better future to your kids as well.