DOES THE TIME-OUT DISCIPLINE REALLY WORK?

Written by Jana Angeles

It can be easy to hand out time-outs like cotton candy to children who don’t behave the way you want them to, but they can be a bit overrated if your toddler doesn’t seem to take them seriously. In this article, we explore how you can implement time-outs into your daily life effectively, which could help your toddler listen and understand the impact of their own behaviour.

Tips for using time outs

Discuss your behavioural expectations to your child:

Time outs can be a good way to explain to your child your expectations when it comes to their behaviour. Do you feel like they have been misbehaving often? Give them a time-out and once it’s over, explain why they were put into time-out in the first place. This could help them understand that you want them to respect you and recognise what good behaviour looks like.

Use them sparingly:

Only use time-outs if you absolutely have to. Do not rely on them solely when showing discipline to your child. It can get a bit repetitive, plus they will not take it seriously if that’s all you ever tell them to do. Without explaining why you are giving them time-outs seems like a bit of waste and it won’t serve you any favours in the long run.

Keep the time-out length to the child’s age:

You should only keep your child in time-out for the length of their age. For example, if they are three years old, only leave them in time-out for three minutes. If you leave them in time-out for longer, they may potentially forget that they were in time-out in the first place. Remember, you’re trying to prevent them from acting up and repeating disrespectful behaviour!

Use direct and positive language when time-out is over:

Adding to the first point, once time-out is over, it’s encouraged to use direct and positive language when speaking to your child. Reassure them that time-out does not mean you don’t love them anymore. You are simply teaching them to behave in an appropriate manner and time-out gives thr opportunity to get the message out there to stop the cycle of misbehaving.

Don’t use time-out as a threat:

Sticking to your guns is part of parenting so why use time-out as a threat? It simply doesn’t work that way. You either use it or you don’t. If you use time-out as threat, it will not be an effective method of discipline to your child. You are only making it harder for yourself to not enable action when it’s truly needed, especially if they are throwing the biggest tantrum in public!

Be prepared to leave:

There’s a time and a place for time-outs and sometimes when you’re in the public’s eye and your child is acting up, you know when it’s time to leave. Don’t feel the need to discipline your child if you know that they are throwing a tantrum that will cause glares from people around you. If you know that time-out isn’t an appropriate action to take in a situation, then it’s time to pick them up off the floor and leave!

Drawbacks to time-outs

Your child may be too young to understand the concept:

Your child may be too young to understand what a time-out is. It can take a while for them to register by being sent to a corner and thinking about what actions they did to cause you to be upset. It may just cause more confusion on their end.

They are becoming resistant to time-outs:

If you feel like your child isn’t having a bar of it, think of another method of discipline in the meantime. There is no point trying to convince your child to stay in time-out if they don’t seem to be cooperating with the idea anyway. You are just fighting a hard battle that will cause a lot of headaches for both parties!

Time-outs are generally used as threats:

Parenting is all about taking action. If you do not follow through a time-out, it just becomes useless and there will be no positive outcomes from it. You can’t just use them as a threat and expect your child to be “fearful” of them.

Time-outs normally work if you use them for what their intended purpose is, which is to diffuse your child from showcasing any signs of misbehaving temporarily. Make sure you use them sparingly and avoid using them as threats. However, it’s important to keep in mind that time-outs are no substitute to a healthy discussion with your child on what expectations you have on their behaviour, so sitting them down and using positive language is still encouraged!