EMBRACE THE JOURNEY AND LEARNING TO APOLOGISE

Written by Lance Green

Being a father is a journey unlike anything you could have imagined, it’s full of love and it can sometimes be challenging. But there’s something about being a dad that is hard to explain, the way a tiny hand wraps around your finger, the sound of your kid’s laughter and a feeling of purpose that comes from knowing you’re shaping a little person’s world.

The small, everyday moments are quite possibly the greatest joy of fatherhood. Those are the ones that don’t make a lot of family photo albums but are etched in your heart forever. It means waking up every morning with a sleepy smile and the whispered “Good morning, Daddy.” It’s the dance parties in the living room, bedtime stories that turn into giggles and the pride of seeing your child achieve something the very first time.

Fatherhood is not all plain sailing though, there will be sleepless nights, moments of self-doubt and times when you feel like you’re quite literally stumbling in the dark, but it’s in those moments that you grow the most. Being a dad teaches you patience, resilience, and showing up, even when it’s hard and you don’t want to.

Probably one of the hardest lessons I have learned as a father is humility, specifically apologising when you know you are in the wrong. Dad’s are generally viewed as the strong male figure in children’s lives, as the protector, as a guide, kind of their heroes.  In reality however, we’re human, we make mistakes and sometimes we let our kids down.

At some point in your dad journey, there will be a first time you have to apologise to your child and it will be an awkward moment for you, but it’s necessary.  It’s hard to apologise to your kid, you have to let down your pride, admit you’re wrong and seek their forgiveness. But it’s one of the most important things you can do. When you apologise, you’re teaching your child that it’s okay to make mistakes and that owning up is a sign of strength, it’s not a weakness and that they are worthy of respect especially from those that they look up to the most.

Apologising is not as hard as it may seem.  Be honest about the mistake or action that you are apologising to them for and make sure you look them in the eye when you are apologising, say something like “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have raised my voice at you. That wasn’t right and I promise I will do better”. You will more than unlikely be told by your little human that “It’s ok daddy”!

Apologising does not belittle your role as a parent, it will actually strengthen it. It shows your child that you are not perfect, but are really trying. It teaches them that part of being human is being vulnerable and it is okay to admit to being wrong, it models the behaviour expected from them too.

When you apologise to your child you are strengthening your relationship with them. It builds trust and shows them that your love for them is not dependent on flawless behaviour. Through their own learned experiences with you, the chances are that they will come to you with their own mistakes and problems knowing they’ll be understanding and show compassion. 

Fatherhood is a journey of ups and downs, one I wouldn’t trade for anything in the world. The joys definitely outweigh the challenges and each day of fatherhood is a learning opportunity to grow and connect with your child. It’s the little things, the small victories, embracing the tough times and understanding that you don’t need all the answers to get the job done.  What comes to mind as I reflect on my journey as a father is the importance of being present, taking in all the moments and most of all, not being afraid to admit having made a mistake as these are the things that really count in making a lasting impact on your child’s life.