Written by Sheree Hoddinett
I don’t know how I do it some days. Mothering, parenting, surviving, whatever you want to call it. It escapes me how I manage to keep on going. Many will say “we just do because we are mothers”. Yep, so true! But isn’t amazing how resilient kids are even when we go off at them?! We feel pretty average after the experience (well sometimes it’s soothing to get it out, especially when you know you’re right!) but a lot of the time kids just seem so forgiving. I often wonder how they must really feel being yelled at. Although it does seem like it goes in one ear and out the other rather quickly, even when you catch them doing the same thing you just yelled at them for! Even though they drive me up the wall, I will always run in the other direction? Just kidding! Or am I? Seriously though, they aren’t joking when they say never get between a Mumma bear and her cub, that’s me with my two! When they aren’t being feral, then they’re all yours!
I’m not a perfect mum, a cool mum, a hip mum or even a nerdy mum. I never dress up, wear makeup or do much with my hair because I’m not out to impress anyone with my mum skills. Yes I worry about what other people think, especially when I’m yelling at my girls. They probably think I’m a terrible mum and some days I think that too. But I often get a moment of clarity and I know I’m possibly not so bad after all. My daughters have told me they hate or don’t like me very much, usually when they don’t get something they want. They have even said they want to go back to their father’s house and that they never want to leave me in the same sentence. I’m not going to lie, it hurts to hear but I would bet that 9.5 times out of 10 they don’t really mean it, well I hope so anyway! Emotions are tough to deal with, even as an adult, let alone as a child trying to grasp where they fit into the world. I try not to take a lot of what they say to heart, but it isn’t easy! Nothing about raising kids ever is!
One of the nicest things to hear is “you’re the best mummy ever, in the whole world”. Awwww sweet isn’t it?! I’m not so sure I am but I’ll take the compliment for as long as it’s being dished out. I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve gotten angry or yelled or even sworn at my girls, but they still love me. As far as I can tell anyway. It could be because I buy them treats some days, it entices them to keep coming back. Bribery maybe, or just the kind caring mum that I am. Insert evil laugh right here.
We all have good days and bad days, that’s all part and parcel of being human. Throw in being a mum, or even a parent in general, and nothing ever goes according to plan. I know I’ve still got things relatively easy while my girls are still young and still sort of listen to me. I’ve heard rumours that teenage girls can often be worse than boys and not just in attitude either. Is this where I just curl up into the foetal position and hide? Even though it was many many years ago, I still have a vague recollection of being a teenage girl. I’m not so sure I’m ready to relive it with not one, but two girls of my own, but I know that freight train is bearing down on me. I’ve already seen it first hand, don’t you worry, I’m so (not at all) prepared! I just have to tell myself I can do it, piece of cake right?!
Even though I joke about it, I have achieved so much more as a mum than I could have ever imagined. Yes there have been so many lows, but they are overtaken by the many highs and massive achievements that have been conquered along the way. I know at times I’m not cut out for this “job” but I give it as good a crack as I can. And so should anyone else who doubts themselves as much as I do, you all know who you are and you are in the greatest company! Keep up with all the self-doubt and good fun over at my own personal blog www.shereekim.com. Until next time….just keep trying!