Five common worries in children and how to help them through
Written by Genie Price
Life is challenging, not just for adults, but for children too. While anxiety and worry is part of our survival instinct when we are faced with a difficult or threatening situation, unfortunately, our brains and bodies don’t always react the way we anticipate, we often go into safety mode.
However, for some children, these responses can make it difficult to gain control of a situation, and without the correct supports, can escalate, affecting your child’s mental health.
What is a worry?
A worry is something that “annoys” or “disturbs” a person. It is often something you think about repetitively and that causes a person to feel troubled or results in feelings of anxiety.
Child therapist Natasha Daniels speaks of the importance of recognising the difference between a “normal worry” and what might be considered an “anxiety disorder”. Natasha believes this will help to determine the level of care and support you and/or a professional may need to give your child.
Symptoms of worry may include:
- Sleeplessness
- Diarrhea
- Headaches
- Stomach ache
- Irritability
- Trouble concentrating and
- Not wanting to participate in school activities or events
Symptoms of anxiety disorder may include some of the above symptoms and also:
- Nausea and vomiting
- Pins and needles
- Pounding heart and tight chest
- Dizziness
Here’s a list of five of the most common worries our children face and what we can do to help are:
- Moving house:
It’s so hard to be the new kid – right? Leaving your old home and settling into a new district, state or even country – is a big worry for children. They would have already established a network of friends in their current position and leaving those friends behind, is a big deal.
What to do:
- Prepare your child as much as possible by talking to them about ways you can stay in contact with these friends after you have gone, i.e. email, letters and holidays are a good example
- Give emphasis to the positives about moving, such as having a bigger bedroom – or their own, a better garden, or having a great park nearby, as this may keep them excited about the move instead of feeling sad
Unfortunately, unless you are a mind reader, it will be hard to detect how your child is feeling about something that might be worrying them. But, never be afraid to ask. Small worries such as the colour of their bedroom are not so difficult to help with, but larger – more persistent concerns you may need professional help with.
- Something bad happening to you
It’s a fact of life – we can’t predict what might happen today, tomorrow and in the future. Unfortunately, something bad happening to you, especially while you are away from your family – is a common worry among children of all ages.
To combat such fears:
- Tell your little ones where you are going, and what time you’re going to be back – ensure that you use the clock or a watch to support this point
- If you are nervous about leaving the house, try not to show it – panic is catching
- Explain that anyone who is responsible for your child’s care while you’re out, such as babysitters and afterschool clubs – they have your contact details so they can easily get hold of you if necessary
- Homework every day
After a long day at school, the last thing your child wants to think about is how much homework has to be completed! While this worry is not usually among the more serious of worries, it happens, so you need to deal with it.
How to help:
- Give your child a break before you get them head down, bum up in the school books. Let them run off some energy or do something physical as soon as they get home. Shoot some hoops, swim, or put on some music and dance.
- Encourage your child to do their best and don’t force them. The last thing you want is a child completely refusing to be engaged, as this will not help with their education in the long run
- Remind them that it’s ok to make mistakes and to ask for help, and if needed, lend a hand. While it’s not expected you complete the homework for them having a helping hand can ease the stress they may be under
- If even you as a parent consider the homework sessions to be too much, speak to the teacher and work out a solution that suits everyone.
- Family worries
Anything which may threaten family dynamics can impact on children. From getting a new sibling, a death in the family, to parents getting divorced – all of these are known to cause confusion and periods of unrest in children.
When events such as these occur, as parents, you often become distracted, this is where familiar and consistent rules can slip.
Ways to support these changes:
- Consider your child’s age and find a way to communicate with them what’s happening. There are a “feelings” series of books which may help you and your child work through this together
- Remind them at all times, that any arguments that are being had – are not their fault
- Consider family therapy or counselling sessions if it has become a situation which is beyond your control
- Bullying
Unfortunately, being bullied is one of the top 5 reasons your child will worry, it’s a serious one and it’s on the rise.
Bullying is in schools, at the office and more recently, on the internet!
Statistics indicate that 1 in 4 children aged between 7-11 years of age will experience bullying at some point during their schooling.
The sad fact about your child being bullied is, that most children will stay silent about it, from fear of being called a “nark.” The other truth is, bullying can result in serious psychological harm to children of all and any age – therefore, early detection is critical.
Ways to help:
- From an early age let your children know they can talk to you about anything, good things and bad – make time to have discussions which are open and honest
- Educate your children on how to keep themselves safe during these times. Remind them it is ok to stick up for themselves
- Find out about and understand your local school’s anti-bullying policies, and use them if you need to
For more information about how to help your child through being bullied, please visit: https://www.ncab.org.au/get-help/
All children have fears. Some may persist, taking away all sense of what is real and what is not. Talk it through with your child and reassure them. Help them to build on their coping strategies and problem solving in order to overcome these challenges and gain a sense of control back in their lives.
NB: If you or anyone you know is faced with persistent worry or anxiety, please seek guidance and professional support from your local doctor or support centre.
References:
https://healthyfamilies.beyondblue.org.au/age-6-12/mental-health-conditions-in-children/anxiety