Good Behaviour Tips

Written by Jana Angeles

Good behaviour skills are amplified when your child attends school. Before they even set foot on school grounds, it’s our responsibility to start modeling good behaviour for our children. Schools expect us as parents to give the right amount of care and discipline when it comes to raising our kids and it’s really important to establish good behaviour to them at an early age.

A popular saying in school, said by teachers over and over again is “treat people the way you would want to be treated.” Most of us do this on a daily basis – only a minority don’t. Our dreams as parents is to see our children grow into respectful and kind human beings; always striving to be the best they can be and having the ability to empathise with other people. But how do we achieve this? The answer is simple: show them what good behaviour actually is.

If you find yourself getting cranky quite easily and continuously taking out your anger towards your children, you may need professional help. As parents, we need to take care of ourselves first; we need to understand that our actions continuously affect our children’s lives, especially when they’re at a young age. As said in an article taken from the Herald Sun, “A loving environment, where the young child observes good practices, is more important than any instruction that attempts to set values such as respect, honesty, punctuality, hard work, reward and, importantly, love.”

With good behaviour, comes love – always. Nobody signs up to parenting without love and how we treat our children becomes a mirror for them as growing individuals.

There are some crucial tips to encourage good behaviour in your kids but sometimes, we aren’t prepared to take all of them on board. Remember, there is no such thing as a “one-size-fits-all” model when it comes to parenting but the points addressed below can help you instil good behaviour for your children.

Be a good role model

Monkey see, monkey do. Remember your child is watching every move and will try to mimic you as much as they can. Although children are different from us, we must understand that we are the ones setting an example for them. Without showing them what makes up a good citizen, they may struggle in adapting good behaviour growing up. Avoid dictating them on what they can or cannot do. Explain the consequences of their actions and help them understand its effects on other people; show them what good behaviour is.

Teach your child the role of empathy

Helping your child develop a sense of empathy is something you can start as soon as they have an awareness of other people’s feelings. Let them know how their behaviour makes you feel and be honest about it. Once they realise how genuine you are when you address your feelings, your child will be able to adapt good behaviour. They’ll know that if they misbehave, it’ll make you upset. From here, they’ll be able to understand the role of empathy and how this can help us better understand people and their feelings.

Acknowledge and praise your child’s good behaviour

Many parents fall into the trap by telling their child that they’re doing the wrong thing. It’s no wonder some children feel like nothing they do is right. It’s important as a parent to acknowledge the good behaviour your child has; it will leave them feeling encouraged and motivated to do the right thing all the time. Use the 6:1 ratio when it comes to this. For every bad comment you make on your child’s behaviour, say another six that are positive. Praising your child is very rewarding for them and can help them avoid any trouble.

Be on the same level as your child

When communicating with your child about their behaviour, be on the same eye-level as them; sit down with them and talk about what they’ve done. Avoid talking over your child as this will make them feel weak and small due to your overpowering figure (even if you are a short mum, they still think you’re tall!). Help your child recognise that they can talk to you openly. When addressing the bad choices they’ve made to make you upset, you can make the most of this opportunity by teaching them what your expectations are when it comes to good behaviour.

Restate how they feel

When you know that your child is upset, restate how they feel. For example, maybe your child wants to have dessert before dinner but then you tell them they can’t until after. If you see them fold their arms with an angry face, you can ask them, “Are you feeling mad because I said you can’t have dessert before dinner?” This way, your child will feel respected because you know exactly how they feel. They will appreciate your understanding of their feelings, which will develop their ability to empathise.

Parenting is like an ongoing marathon; you’ll never know when to stop! Instilling good behaviour in your child will take a lot of work and at times, will leave you feeling discouraged. Remember to never give up and to always remain positive, even through challenging times. Parenting is all work with little play but the efforts you put into it will pay off later.