HELICOPTER PARENTING: PROS AND CONS

Written by Feba Maryann

Everyone has a different take on parenting — some are highly permissive and some are authoritative while others remain uninvolved. One such parenting style that involves the parent watching over every step of the child and trying to solve problems for them is called ‘helicopter parenting’. It is mockingly called so because the parent seems to stand over the child’s shoulder and hover over their life without a break.  

Perceived as the in-between of free-range parenting and lawnmower parenting, helicopter parenting or cosseting is one of the most criticized parenting styles. Here are some pros and cons of this widely known parenting style:  

Pro #1 Ensures Safety   

When the parents are hyper-involved in the children’s lives, one thing they always know for sure is the child’s location. Here parents know where the child goes, at what time they will leave, and how long they will stay.   

Helicopter parents also make sure that their child is not anywhere without their knowledge which gives them a chance to select the people the child will come to meet. Born out of the instinct to protect one’s offspring, this is certainly a pro of the helicopter parenting style.   

Con #1 Creates Sneaky Children   

A skill that most children with helicopter parents develop is the one of how to not get in trouble. These children keep away facts about themselves or their activities to escape harsh criticism. This tendency to hide information from people in their lives carries into their adult lives.   

This trait is not a good one to have in a potential friend or a decent partner. No matter what it concerns, certain children who grow up with helicopter parenting compulsively need to hide away information and can never trust enough.  

Pro #2 Rarely Finds Trouble   

Adults who have experienced helicopter parenting have been proven to be less likely to get in trouble. With their parents making most of the important decisions for them and solving their crises, kids who grow up under helicopter parents have very little freedom to speak of.   

While freedom is essential during the growing years to make a well-adjusted adult, these adults make their decisions just like their parents would have, thereby avoiding trouble.  

Con #2 Makes Children Less Confident   

If parents are looking to raise children who are confident in their decisions, the helicopter style is not the right way to do it. Turns out, this form of parenting makes the parents overly critical about their children’s judgment and thereby reducing the children’s self-confidence.   

Besides, always trying to meet their parents’ high standards takes a serious toll on their self-confidence. Another reason behind much of the criticism for hovering is that it makes children feel grossly inadequate.  

Pro #3 The Parent Stays Happy   

Evolution has made it so that parents have an innate desire to keep their children safe. It has been noted that this parenting style makes parents happier and satisfied. Since the parents are kept in the loop of their child’s life, they tend to be less stressed.  

Growing up in an environment like this, children are likely to continue to update their parents about their adult lives as well.   

Con #3 Struggle To Be Independent   

Without allowing the children to have a developmentally appropriate level of freedom, helicopter parents create adults who become co-dependent. Since the parents have refused to let them solve their issues in the early years, the children find it hard to make sound judgments in adulthood.   

They are more likely to struggle to stand on their own feet as adults and fail to take care of themselves. Being unable to take care of oneself is a sign of a deficit in parenting.  

Final Thoughts   

Hovering over kids has its benefits and pitfalls. Helicopter parenting seems extremely convenient for young children. But as adults, they struggle to cope with life; this is termed as the ‘failure to launch’ syndrome. Also, helicopter parenting increases the chances of children developing problems with substance abuse.   

Despite being an intrusive parenting technique, ‘heli-parenting’ is said to originate from the parents’ concern for children. The sole way to resolve the tendency to hover is by recognizing the urge and channelling it to grant more autonomy. Parents should aim to be a safety net for their children rather than surveillance helicopters.