HOW DOES THE DYNAMICS IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP INFLUENCE YOUR CHILD’S DEVELOPMENT? 

January 31, 2022 /

Written by Feba Maryann 

Human beings are greatly influenced by the environment that surrounds them. Just like how the natural environment impacts the lifestyle of people, the kind of environment present in the home also influences us to a large extent. Children especially are more vulnerable as they do what they observe without knowing its pros and cons. In this regard, the kind of relationship shared by parents is a huge determinant for the conscious and unconscious choices an individual makes as a child and even as an adult.    

The dynamics of a relationship are often very complex and subjective to different people. The relationship of a married couple has its ups and downs. There are both happy and unhappy moments. 

Arguments, disagreements, and disputes are common to every couple but their influence on their children is different for everyone. For some, it might be very easy and normal to deal while others can have serious impacts like depression, anxiety, and improper growth.  

Factors That Affect Relationship Dynamics: 

Mutual Understanding: If both partners have opposite opinions, there should be a compromise and they should try to resolve it with a middle path.  

Communication and Interaction: With their busy schedules, people generally do not have much time to interact with each other, this builds a virtual gap between them and creates complications in a relationship. 

Devaluing Each Other: 

Sometimes people take each other for granted and feel that it is the responsibility of other people to care for them unconditionally. This is a wrong perception, and we should appreciate the efforts of other people. 

Social Factors: 

It often happens that people work according to the unrealistic and judgmental mindset of society and ignore their partner’s choices and opinions. This can be hurtful for the other person and causes negativity in a relationship. 

Overall, the dynamics of a relationship are dependent on the concerned individuals. Therefore, these can range from healthy to unhealthy. 

Healthy Dynamics: 

  • Both the parents have equal respect, opinions, and opportunities  
  • They are closely connected and share a mutual understanding 
  • The style of parenting should be both rigid and lenient according to the situations 

Unhealthy Dynamics: 

  • Lack of mutual respect and dominance of a single person  
  • Absence of understanding and connection 
  • If they are either extremely strict or extremely lenient parents 

Impact Of This Dynamic on Children 

According to the studies conducted in this field, it was found that children as young as six months old or older who are exposed to the regular conflict have higher heart rates and stress hormone responses.  

Conflicts between parents cause serious problems to children such as disrupted early brain development, anxiety, depression, sleep disturbance and conduct disorders. On the other hand, children kept away from these are healthier and have higher chances to be successful and happy in future. 

In some cases, children blame themselves for issues between their parents and feel guilty unnecessarily, which causes severe mental damage. Domestic violence is particularly the most damaging for children and impacts their social, behavioural, and emotional development.  

Apart from this, these children become sceptical about their relationships in future and the cycle of bad relationships continue.  

In order to avoid such situations in future, children should be kept alienated from such harsh situations so that the next generation leads a positive and happy life. 

Tips For Parents:  

Develop Attachment and Friendliness: 

Having good attachment and bonds can help children feel safe and manage difficulties. If the tuning between parents and children is set right then it becomes easier for both to express their feelings frankly. 

Care For Mental Health: 

To take care of children’s health, parents must also focus on their mental health. They should first check about what makes them stressed, anxious or depressed. It is because of these situations that people get into unnecessary disputes. 

It Is Normal to Argue: 

Arguments are common and natural between a couple, but they should know how it is impacting their children. Avoid fighting in front of your children and ensure that they are not listening when you are. 

Spend Some Family Time: 

Have movie or game nights together and take a chill pill. Spending time together helps a family to build stronger bonds and avoid hostility.