
HOW EFFECTIVE ARE TIME-OUTS WHEN IT COMES TO DISCIPLINING YOUR CHILD?
Written by Liza John
Endless tantrums, naggings, bedtime struggles and impulsive behaviours; children can be quite a handful and disciplining them is no walk in the park. We have come a long way from those days when parents used corporal punishment in an attempt to discipline their kids.
Parenting experts and educators unanimously agree that spanking does more harm than good. Timeouts came into vogue as an alternative way of disciplining children and have grown in popularity as a method to effectively manage inappropriate behaviour in children. In fact, timeouts are now a staple in many parenting programmes and are widely recommended by paediatricians and parenting experts.
However, many experts seem a bit sceptical about the practice and some even recommend banning timeouts altogether. Read on to find out more about timeouts and if they deserve the clout they have.
Timeout 101
Coined in the late 1950s by psychologist Arthur Stats as an alternate method to the existing corporal punishment, timeouts sought to briefly block children from the activity they are engaged in when they act out. Oftentimes displays of negative behaviours are a way of seeking attention, thus by not giving the attention children want, timeouts seek to get rid of such behaviours.
Timeouts when used correctly are effective in teaching children’s appropriate behaviours without the harmful effects of spanking, emphasis on “used correctly”. In an ideal world all parents, educators and caregivers would receive adequate training on how to use timeouts correctly, but in real life this is rarely the case.
So, What Is Wrong with Timeouts?
Timeout as developed by Staats works perfectly and there is quite a lot of consistent data and research to back this up. Today however the original tried and tested timeout is rarely seen; instead, most people use timeouts without proper training or information. These timeouts may be from their own childhood experiences, a random parenting blog or by speculation. Hence these timeouts turn out to be wolves in sheep’s clothes, doing more harm than good.
Parents often forget that timeout is not a form of punishment, rather it is a behaviour modification strategy that teaches a child to make good decisions. Timeout becomes a punishment when it is accompanied with anger, shouting, intimidation, or humiliation. Making a child stand in front of a whole class is not going to teach the child how to behave.
Making The Most Out of Timeouts
For timeouts to be effective, parents need to set up a clear structure for timeouts and give children positive reinforcements when they engage in good behaviour. Here are some tips to help you make timeouts more effective.
Time-In When Not Timeout
Timeout is the abbreviated form of Timeout from positive reinforcement. As the name suggests, we place the child in a boring environment with no positive reinforcements when they act out. In order for timeouts to be effective, you must ensure that their environment otherwise is filled with positive reinforcement like compliments, praises, and other displays of affection.
When Should You Give a Timeout?
First things first, decide exactly what behaviour or deeds deserve a timeout. Keep it specific like “hitting someone” or “throwing your toys” rather than “being aggressive”. This helps your child understand better and also keeps you from overusing timeouts.
How Long and Where
Timeouts should be brief 2 to 5 minutes and the spot you choose to give them timeouts should be boring, ideally with no options for recreation. This could be a chair in your dining room or somewhere you can supervise without giving them attention.
Warn once and do not hesitate to follow through
Give them the options they have, that is, if they go ahead with the bad behaviour, they’ll get a timeout or else another outcome. Make sure that this is the only warning and let them choose.
This Way They’ll Know That Good Behaviour Gets Good Outcomes.
Once warned and they still continue with their misbehaviour call a timeout. If you don’t give them a timeout, they’ll think it is just an empty threat.
Conclusion
Timeouts have proved their effectiveness over the past few decades and there is plenty of data and a number of studies to back this up. However, as they say a little knowledge is dangerous. You should be using timeouts but only after you know the effect it has and its true purpose. Consulting a paediatrician or certified caregiver could help you expand your understanding of timeouts and tailor it to your child’s needs.