Written by Feba Maryann
When it comes to parenting there is no such thing called the ‘ideal syllabus’ that needs to be followed. Needless to say, you can never prepare your child for all that’s out there. But that is what independence is also about. It is about succoring your child to tackle their problems on their own. It is about conceding that their journey to self-discovery can be set foot on only if independence is encouraged from a very young age. Beyond question, it is affirmative that allowing your child to exercise the right aggregate of independence will help them refine themselves into a self-efficient and valiant individual.
The world is a melange of distinct cultural backgrounds that allows various kinds of upbringings to be offered, but in totality, the sole aspect of parenting lies in how individualistic your child feels irrespective of his or her’s cultural rooting. Being headstrong right from the toddler age can have added benefits too. Studies have reportedly found that introducing children to the right amount of independence respective to their age can help them be more emotionally mature as this is the time they experience immense socio-intellectual changes as well.
So let’s take this from the top, here are a list of 7 tips to stir up an independent fostering for your child:
Pick Out Their Scope Of Freedom
To raise your child in an independent atmosphere, you first need to recognize the areas where there can be scope for their exercise of control. Try making a list of things that you think they can do. And if you think the tasks are slightly beyond their ability then ask them if they feel capacitated enough to take on. This can inculcate the much-needed skill of self-awareness and analysis right from a very young age. Have zero expectations though, children set their own pace, and toddlers especially start showing up signs of progress gradually.
Once you’ve marked their territory of authority, the next task is to instill a habit of being consistent. Remember while we were young when our parents taught us to brush our teeth as the first thing in the morning to be done once we wake up?
The reason why we were compelled to do it every day, irrespective of whether we liked it or not, is because when it had become a habit, we’d never feel like missing our daily routine. Likewise, when you capacitate your children to meet their own primary needs, make sure it becomes a recurring habit that they carry forward with them.
Corroborate Their Involvement
As a parent, you might be doing a lot for your child but if your child does not know what you go through to provide them with the kind of backing that you give them now, then eventually all your efforts may die in vain because there can be chances that your child might feel privileged, ergo take things for granted. So, whenever possible, try to involve your child’s presence and give them a fair share of what they need to know.
Refrain From Juggling With Their Tasks
Children have a greater tendency to become overwhelmed when they deal with new circumstances. Ergo, this should be foreseen by parents and hence they should refrain from stacking duties one on top of the other. Remember to be patient, and focus on just one step at a time.
As baby steps towards independence, when you sanction tasks to your toddler, like brushing their teeth or wearing their clothes, do not expect him or her to get the job done exactly according to your expertise. As aforementioned, children get tasks done concerning their own pace, So instead of buzzing around them, plan accordingly and avoid being in haste.
Children Will Be Children
In the pursuit of moulding your child into an individualist, do not overlook the fact that your child is still a beginner, who is meticulously learning each day as it comes by. So when they’ve finally accomplished something that they consider grand, forget about perfection and genuinely appreciate their amateur efforts. Tell them that you believe in their abilities to get better than themself.
Perceive From Your Child’s View
Quite often, we all make the mistake of bringing up our children with the same old conventional methods and try reinforcing notions that often stem out of reckless generalization. But disregarding the fact that every child comes from a different background can lead to awful consequences. If a child is dealing with an unprecedented situation, dependence (especially in the emotional foreground) is quite inevitable. As an appropriate solution to this, parents are required to take an intermediary approach where they understand what the child is facing but also foresee and act for what has to be done instead of criticising them for their setbacks.