HOW TO PICK THE BEST PARENTING STYLES THAT WORK FOR THE FAMILY

March 31, 2021 /

Written by Feba Maryann 

Being a parent is no easy task and can be overwhelming or confusing at times. Every parent-child relationship is different and there are no hard-set rules or formats to follow. Being a parent is about taking feedback and constantly embracing changes.  

You don’t have to be the best parent in the world, you just have to strive to be the best parent you can be for your child. This is why picking a parenting style that works for your family is critical.   

Online platforms will have millions of opinions and suggestions about parenting. Before you wade into these platforms brimming with information and embark on the journey of parenthood, here are some basics that every parent-to-be must know.   

What Are Parenting Styles? 

Parenting styles refer to the combinations of various methods and strategies parents use to raise their children.  

Parenting styles have been extensively studied and broadly classified into four, based on the kind of structure and nurturing that the children receive from their parents.   

Authoritarian   

Authoritarian parenting involves more structure than anything. Also called dictatorship parenting, children are expected to follow every rule their parents have set up for them without question. This form of parenting makes children secretive, submissive, or overly rebellious individuals who cannot stand up or think for themselves.   

Permissive   

Permissive parenting follows a more lenient route where parents are more like friends. Even though this form of parenting can have immense positive effects on the child’s independence, without enough structure, it can also make children lose self-esteem, reliability, and respect for the parents.   

Disengaged   

Also known as neglectful parenting, it involves leaving your child to raise themselves. Parents provide their children with necessities, but the structure and nurturing remain lacking. Children who grow up under such parenting lack motivation, do not follow rules and tend to resent their parents.  

Authoritative  

Dubbed as the best form of parenting out there, it utilizes effective communication between the parent and the child to ensure that the needs of both parties are met. Providing a balanced amount of structure and care to the child, authoritative parenting makes the child feel loved, listened to, and independent.  

Choosing A Suitable Parenting Style  

Deciding on a parenting style well before the baby comes is the best decision because you can hash out the details if you and your partner disagree on any term. For instance, if you have been raised in a permissive household and expect to follow the same style while your partner knows only how to helicopter parent, the result could spell disaster.   

No parent can be strictly classified as textbook permissive, authoritative, or such. In real life, all parents are an amalgamation of more than two styles. Deciding on all the styles that you want to incorporate into your parenting sounds rather easy but implementing this can be a difficult task. For example, when your child throws a temper tantrum at the grocery, it is much easier to be a disciplinarian who orders the child to behave rather than a negotiator who tries to find a compromise. Such situations are where most parents feel out of their depth.   

Also, if the child has different thinking or learning needs, the styles of parenting that work for neurotypical kids may not hold the same. Thus, parents should consider the needs of their children before parenting. Finding a way to meet your needs while satisfying the child’s is the crux of healthy parenting.   

Tips To Find The Best Parenting Style   

  • Discuss different parenting styles with your partner and agree on the one you want to follow.   
  • Remember to make alterations in your approach to parenting depending on your child’s needs and temperament.   
  • Ensure that parental duties are divided equally between the parents.   
  • Listening to your children and being respectful of them while they approach you can go a long way.   
  • Always remember to discipline children without shaming them.   
  • Praise them appropriately and equally if there are siblings involved. Children with siblings often find that their parents prefer their siblings more than themselves, even if it is not true, and this causes a lot of adjustment issues.   
  • Instilling good work ethics in your children at a young age is a sign of effective parenting. 
  • Try to avoid being the parent that disregards the lessons that they teach the child in their own life.   
  • Always try to nurture the child’s self-esteem by making them try new skills and let them know how proud of them you are.   
  • Acknowledge your limitations and drawbacks as a parent.   
  • Avoid parenting styles that encourage coddling the child.   
  • Be consistent with your parenting.   
  • Express your love regularly because, at times, your children may not realize that you do. 

Happy Parenting!