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HOW TO SURVIVE FATHERHOOD IN THE FIRST YEAR!

Written by Lance Green 

Hello fellow dads (and soon-to-be dads), it’s your friendly neighbourhood father here. I know, I know, fatherhood can be overwhelming, especially in the first year. But fear not, because I am here to give you some tips on how to survive the rollercoaster ride that is fatherhood.

First things first, let’s address the elephant in the room – the lack of sleep. As soon as that little bundle of joy enters your life, say goodbye to your eight hours of uninterrupted slumber. But hey, look at the bright side, at least now you have a valid excuse for your constant yawning and under-eye bags (dad bods are in anyway, right?).

Now, I know some of you may be thinking, “But what about the mum? She’s the one who has to breastfeed and get up in the middle of the night.” And yes, while that may be true, let me tell you, as a father, it’s our job to support and cheer on the mum. So when she’s up in the middle of the night, do your part and stay awake too. Trust me, it will earn you some serious brownie points.

Moving on to the next survival tip – the never-ending appy changes. I never thought I would become an expert in this field, but lo and behold, here I am, changing nappies like a pro. And let me tell you, it’s all about technique. You want to make sure you have everything you need within arm’s reach, because trust me, once you start, there’s no turning back. And don’t be afraid to use wipes liberally – nobody likes a dirty butt, not even babies.

Now, let’s talk about the crying. Oh, the crying. It’s like a never-ending soundtrack to your life now. But don’t worry, it’s completely normal. Babies cry for a variety of reasons, and sometimes for no reason at all. So just embrace it, put on some earplugs if you must, and remember, this too shall pass. Plus, have you ever tried singing to your baby? They may not understand the lyrics, but they sure do love the sound of your voice. And hey, if you’re feeling extra adventurous, you can even try beatboxing. Trust me, it’s a sure way to make your baby stop crying and look at you like you’re the coolest dad ever.

Now, let’s talk about the dreaded “baby brain.” You know, the feeling of being in a constant state of confusion and forgetfulness. It’s like your brain cells have taken a vacation and left you to fend for yourself. But fear not, because I have found the solution to this – make lists. Lots and lots of lists. Write down everything you need to do, from grocery shopping to remembering to put the baby’s socks on before leaving the house. And don’t worry if you forget something, just blame it on the baby brain. It’s a foolproof excuse.

And last but not least, let’s talk about the endless stream of visitors. I know, I know, everyone wants to come and see the new addition to the family. But let’s be real, it can be overwhelming and exhausting. So here’s my tip – embrace the chaos. Make it a game, try to see how many people you can fit in your living room before it becomes too crowded. And hey, if all else fails, just hand the baby off to a willing visitor and take a much-needed nap.

In all seriousness, fatherhood in the first year can be tough, but it’s also the most rewarding experience of your life. So embrace the sleepless nights, the nappy changes, and the endless crying because before you know it, your little one will be all grown up and you’ll be wondering where the time went.

And most importantly, remember to cherish every moment, even the chaotic ones, because these are the memories you’ll look back on and laugh about. Now go out there and rock this fatherhood thing like the superhero dad you are!

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