KEEPING YOUR RELATIONSHIP SPICY AFTER MARRIAGE

Written by Liza John 

Let’s face it, at some point after marriage all couples have to deal with this, losing the spark. You must have heard that life completely changes after marriage. Couples who were once madly in love find themselves going through a boring, dull, family centred routine which leads you to a point where you don’t even know if together.  

When you get into a relationship, the butterflies when you see them, the excitement while you wait for a text, the magic in a kiss, everything seems like straight out of a happily-ever-after film. Except that it isn’t, this newness fades away after a while.  

This passionate love turns into a more compassionate love. You and your partner start to divulge your true selves and form a deep emotional attachment. You start to have a sort of stability and comfort in your life. However, along the way you may also stumble, with life throwing obstacles your way and renewing that passionate love can seem like an arduous task.  

So here are some tips from experts and real people on how to keep your relationship spicy after marriage:

Revive  

Remember when you bumped into each other at the college library, there on you used to visit the library just to get a glimpse of her? Go back, go to that library, revisit your memories. Maybe you don’t have a library, maybe you met at a trek, go on that trek again.  

Do those things that helped you fall in love with each other. Revive those memories and moments. Kiss again, like it is the first time all over again. Make love, like it was the first time.  

Go on a walk through the city or cook together, these activities can help you revive those butterflies in your stomach. The important thing is that you try and make an effort, don’t say you’ll do it and then forget about it. Even a little effort can go a long way. 

Be Adventurous 

While reviving the old activities, don’t forget to try new ones. Be adventurous, take risks with your partner to keep things interesting. Push each other to do something absolutely crazy (PS: stay safe, folks). It is going to be scary, but you have each other’s support to help you push through.  

Adventure sports and activities that are a mix of the terrifying and exhilarating will work to increase the bond that you have with your partner. So yes, take that terrifying rollercoaster ride or go skydiving, these will help your body to release chemicals that take your bond to a higher level. 

Go On Dates 

Remember when you started dating, how you used to go on a ton of dates? Now it’s probably come down to something close to a ritual than actually enjoying the time you’re spending together on a date. 

Try to have a date night once a week, or at least once a month. Keep things interesting and come up with something different, like trying a new cuisine or trying out a new restaurant in town. Spend quality time together, doing things you both love, regularly. Dress up and try to impress your partner as if you’re going out on your first date with them. 

Intimacy 

The word intimacy is often associated to just physical intimacy, yes physical intimacy is necessary, but that’s not all that matters. Create a judgment free space where the both of you can open up without hesitation. Ask questions, try to get to know your partner on a deeper level and try to understand them. Never think that you know your partner inside out, they are changing just like you, so be there for them by their side. 

Speaking of physical intimacy, yes, make love like you were doing it for the last time, break the beds and do it with passion. Talk to each other about your preferences and try to break each other’s boundaries (as long as they are also willing to try new things) to keep your intimate life wild and exciting. Touching, cuddling, and teasing can help release happy hormones in your body and help you connect with each other on a deeper level. 

Final Thoughts 

In long term relationships, it is natural for you to start taking your partner for granted.