LACK OF COMMUNICATION CAN RUIN A RELATIONSHIP

May 15, 2020 /

Written by Caroline Meyer

A big problem in many relationships is bad communication, or the complete lack thereof. It’s very important that people are given time to express their emotions in a relationship, if they aren’t able to, a healthy relationship can go downhill fast. Lack of communication is one of the most common issues in relationships and ultimately leads to the couple splitting up. This article will highlight what a lack of communication looks like, the effect it has on your relationship and ways to fix communication problems. But first, why is communication important? 

People tend to have a need to belong and to connect with others. Positive interactions, whether it be verbal or non-verbal, help increase our well-being. In a relationship, communication is key to ensure growth and overall health of both partners. Expressing emotions can be hard at times but is essential to maintain a positive relationship. 

Signs That Your RelationshipIs Lacking Communication 

Usually you will be able to tell when a lack of communication starts to affect your relationship. Here are some signs to look out for: 

  • Defensiveness; 
  • Passive aggression; 
  • Inability to compromise; 
  • Being inconsiderate about each other’s emotions during an argument; 
  • Failing to connect with each other; 
  • Many unresolved arguments; 
  • Criticizing each other; 
  • Giving/ receiving less attention. 

A lack of communication usually forms from a deeper problem within the relationship. When these signs start showing it’s best to seek professional help or confront your partner if possible.  Some ideas on how to resolve the lack of communication issue will be given further on in this article and may prove useful. 

How Does A Lack Of Communication Effect Your Relationship? 

Being unable to communicate properly may destroy a relationship. The lack of communication will hinder the growth of the relationship. The effects include:

  • An increase in conflict and argumentative behavior. Individuals may start doing things purposely to get on each other’s nerves, blaming each other for everything and not complying to rules or requests. Ultimately this leads to ongoing arguments that cannot be solved without better communication. 
  • Misunderstandings. People who are in a relationship that lacks communication may have difficulty understanding each other. This causes confusion and misinterpretation. 
  • Loneliness. When people feel as though they are unable to talk to their significant other about their emotions, it causes them to feel alone. This feeling tends to make the person distance themselves and seek understanding elsewhere. 
  • A negative perspective of your partner. You may begin to see all the bad sides of your partner. When there is little communication, it is easy to read into everything a little too much. It may become harder to see the positive sides to your relationship and this builds a barrier between two people. 
  • Being unable to set and reach goals. The emotional stress may cause people in a relationship to feel unmotivated. It may be difficult to set individual and relationship goals. The relationship will suffer without growth and cause them to grow apart. 
  • Less intimacy and connection. Often people who don’t communicate begin to neglect other aspects of the relationship as well. This could leave the partners feeling unwanted and unhappy. 

How To Solve Communication Problems 

Firstly, you should try improving your general communication skills. Consider your body language, be honest, find the right time and do it face to face. Once you have these skills mastered, it may be necessary to look deeper into what could be causing the problem. 

  • Look for meta-emotion mismatch: This is when people may feel differently about feelings. One person may think it is important to express emotions in order for the relationship to stay healthy whereas the other may think it is unnecessary. It may be difficult for couples to communicate if they have meta-emotion mismatch, but it is still important to try and explore how both of you feel about emotions. From this point, you can decide how to effectively communicate. It could entail that you need to compromise and in some conversations dive into emotions whereas in others skip straight to a logical solution and leave emotions aside. 
  • Address previous problems that haven’t been solved: An event in the past may have had a negative effect on the relationship. If this problem has not been resolved it could be the cause of the lack of communication. In order to move forward in the relationship, you may be required to look back and find a solution to an existing or past issue before moving forward. It is important to find out why your partner is not communicating with you or vice versa 
  • Consult a professional. If you and your partner are not able to resolve the issue between the two of you, you might want to take the next step and attend counselling or consult a professional to help you work through the communication block. 

All relationships need to have a good level of communication. This is the only way you can work towards resolving issues in your relationship and be able to build and make your bond stronger.  Don’t be afraid to reach out or to ask for help if you are unable to resolve it between you.