LOVE LANGUAGES FOR PARENTS

Written by Olivia Arrow

Parenting is a joyful and rewarding journey, but it can also be incredibly demanding and challenging. As parents, we often prioritise our children’s needs above everything else, including our relationship with our partner. However, it is crucial to remember that a strong and healthy relationship with our spouse is the foundation of a happy family. In the midst of diaper changes, school runs, and sleepless nights, it is easy for couples to neglect each other’s emotional needs. This is where understanding and implementing the concept of love languages can make a significant difference in a parent’s relationship.

Love languages refer to the different ways in which people express and receive love. According to Dr. Gary Chapman, a renowned marriage counsellor and author of the book ‘The 5 Love Languages,’ there are five primary love languages: words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, and physical touch. Each individual has a primary love language through which they feel most loved and appreciated. As parents, it is essential to understand not only our own love language but also our partner’s. This understanding can help us express our love and appreciation in a way that is most meaningful to our partner.

One of the most common challenges that parents face is finding quality time to spend with their partner. With children’s constant demands and a never-ending list of household chores, it can be challenging to carve out time for each other. However, spending quality time with our partner is crucial for maintaining a healthy relationship. For those whose primary love language is quality time, this means everything to them. They feel most loved and appreciated when their partner gives them undivided attention and engages in meaningful conversations. As parents, we can make an effort to schedule regular date nights or simply set aside a few minutes each day to connect with each other. It is not about the quantity of time but the quality of it. A short walk around the block or a cup of coffee together can do wonders for a relationship.

Another love language that is often overlooked in the chaos of parenting is words of affirmation. This love language involves using words to express love, appreciation, and encouragement. As parents, we may take for granted that our partner knows we love them, but it is essential to vocalise it. Simple phrases like ‘I appreciate all that you do for our family’ or ‘You are an amazing parent’ can make a world of difference to our partner. For those whose primary love language is words of affirmation, hearing these words can fill their emotional love tank and help them feel secure in the relationship. It is crucial to make an effort to use positive and affirming words instead of criticism or negativity, especially during stressful moments of parenting.

Acts of service is another love language that is often undervalued in relationships. This love language involves doing things for your partner to show them love and appreciation. As parents, we are constantly doing things for our children, but it is essential to extend the same gestures to our partner as well. This could be something as simple as making their morning coffee or taking over a household chore that they usually do. These acts of service show our partner that we value them and their contribution to the family. For those whose primary love language is acts of service, these small gestures can mean the world to them.

Receiving gifts is another love language that is often associated with materialism, but it goes beyond that. This love language involves giving and receiving thoughtful and meaningful gifts. As parents, we may not have the time or resources to splurge on extravagant gifts, but it is important to remember that it is the thought behind the gift that matters. A homemade card from the kids or a small token of appreciation can make our partner feel loved and cherished. It is not about the monetary value but the effort and thought put into the gift.

Last but not least, physical touch is an essential love language in any relationship. This love language involves physical affection, such as hugs, kisses, and holding hands. As parents, we may be constantly touched out from our children, but it is important to make an effort to show physical affection towards our partner. A simple touch or hug can convey love, comfort, and security. For those whose primary love language is physical touch, this can be the most important way to feel loved and appreciated.

Understanding and implementing the concept of love languages can help parents maintain a strong and healthy relationship with their partner in the midst of parenting duties. It is crucial to remember that each individual has a unique way of expressing and receiving love, and as parents, we must make an effort to understand and cater to our partner’s love language. By doing so, we can create a loving and fulfilling relationship, which serves as a strong foundation for our family.