Mummy, what’s wrong with that boy? Teaching your child about disabilities.
Written by Genie Price
If your child hasn’t already met a person with a disability, it is highly likely that at some stage during their school years, they will.
When they do start asking questions, rather than harvesting fear and confusion, take the opportunity to foster inclusion and acceptance, and give them the best possible understanding. Ultimately, it’s how you respond to these questions, which will impact on how your child will later treat a person with a disability as they move through life.
What is a Disability?
In 2009, The Bureau of Statistics reveals that four million Australian people live with a disability, of which, 290,000, 7.2% are children aged between 0-14 years.
A disability can impact upon a child’s mental, sensory or mobility functions. It may be caused by an accident, trauma, genetics or disease. A disability may also be temporary or permanent, total or partial, lifelong or acquired, visible or invisible. And, as a result – whatever the disability is, can have a profound effect on their social engagement and education.
Types of disability in Australia:
Disabilities which affect some Australian children, vary somewhat with age.
From the recent findings, of young children aged 0-4 years who had a disability, almost two-thirds (63%) had a sensory (e.g. sight and hearing) or speech disability. In contrast, just over one third (37%) of children aged 5-14 years had sensory or speech impairments (Bureau of Statistics).
The following tips can prepare you to talk to your child about people living with a disability when they come to you for answers.
Firstly, you can start small by explaining to your child:
- No two people are the same – some differences are just more noticeable
- Children with a disability are like all children. Like your child – they too want friends, to be treated with respect and to be included
- Children can be born with a disability or acquire a disability through an accident or illness
- It’s important that your child understands that you cannot catch another person’s disability
- Just because a person has a physical disability (their body doesn’t work as well as ours) does not mean that they also have an intellectual disability (their mind and thinking doesn’t work the same as ours)
- Children with a disability can do some of the things your child can do, it just may take them longer or they may need special equipment to help them to do it
It’s ok to ask:
Kids, especially young ones, are naturally curious, so when your child sees a person with a disability it’s their first instinct to ask you about it.
When the questions start flying:
- Don’t shush your child – let them know that its OK to ask about the person and their disability
- Offer them a matter-of-fact explanation for example: “I noticed you saw that girl in a wheel-chair” … “she has problems with her body and can’t walk the same as you and I.”
If your child starts asking detailed questions, offer to help find answers at home:
- Go online together to learn more about a particular disability
- Be sure to not only point out what people with disabilities can’t do but what they can do also – as this is just as important
Doing this will help your child develop an understanding of the various disabilities and how each one affects the person individually. This can promote awareness in your child that, hopefully, will be shared among others.
Use respectful terminology:
Like sponges, children absorb everything. This is why it’s important to be mindful of the way you speak about and interact with a person who has a disability – as your child will see and hear it all.
When discussing people with a disability it is preferred to use “people first” or a “person first” approach.
Such as:
- “person with a disability,” or “woman with cerebral palsy,” and “man with an intellectual disability.”
Or:
- “a person with limited capabilities”…“person with a vision impairment” or “people with intellectual disability” as these are considered more appropriate.
Using derogatory language such as “handicapped” or “cripple” or “retarded” are hurtful and should be avoided.
For more information relating to examples of appropriate language, refer to:
http://www.pwd.org.au/student-section/terminology-used-by-pwda.html
Don’t allow jokes or bullying:
Unfortunately, children with special needs or living with a disability are more likely to be bullied or abused in some way or another.
More than half – 62% of the students with Autism Spectrum Disorder recently surveyed by the Queensland Government, indicated being bullied one or more times in a week. This is significantly higher than the 1 in 7 children living without a disability – who also fall victim to discriminatory behaviours, teasing and or name calling and cyber bullying, in schools throughout Australia.
If you happen to over hear your child or their friends calling a child with a disability “dumb” or “retarded” reinforce, even if meant as a joke, it is unacceptable to use hurtful words. If your child is old enough to understand further, explain the implications of teasing and bullying on another person’s mental health.
For more information about how to care for your child and their mental health, please visit:
https://healthyfamilies.beyondblue.org.au/age-6-12/mental-health-conditions-in-children
Talk about what we all have in common:
We all have likes – things we are passionate about. Many of us also have dislikes, too. Talk to your child about what they may have in common with other children with disabilities. Do they both have eyes? Hair? Hands?
Give clear, obvious examples such as:
- First and foremost, we are all human, with our own desires, skills and talents
- Do you think that little boy has feelings? We all have feelings too, so, it’s important to educate your child how a person with a disability is the same as them
- At some point, we all go to school and get an education. A child with a disability may just need assistive technology to help get them through
Talking about disabilities with anyone, let alone children, can be a tricky subject.
It’s ok to accept you don’t know all the answers, as long as you are prepared to seek them out and continue to nurture your child’s young mind, positively.
What better way to strengthen a society of acceptance and inclusion?
References:
People with Disability – http://www.pwd.org.au/student-section/terminology-used-by-pwda.html
The Australian Bureau of Statistics – http://www.abs.gov.au/Disability
Australian Network on Disability – https://www.and.org.au/pages/disability-statistics.html
The Queensland Government – https://www.qld.gov.au/disability/children-young-people/bullying-disability-mental-health