Parenting is for life

Written by Jana Angeles

Parenting is for life. There’s no doubt about that. There are many sacrifices we make for our children, and as they grow older, we hope they can be responsible and capable adults (like us!). As parents, it’s normal to feel like we should protect our little ones from the hurt and pain of life. We can only support our children when they grow up and teach them how to be compassionate and selfless individuals. And although a priority of ours is to put our children’s needs before our own, we also need to take the time out as parents and take care of ourselves; to do the things that make us happy.

As humans, we are inevitable in making mistakes and sometimes in our best interest, we expect so much from our children to be the best they can be. There’s no such thing as a “perfect” child or parent. We need to keep in mind that how we impact our children is what moulds them into the individuals they become. The decisions we make, what we value as people and how we treat our friends and family is something your child will look up to. In essence, we need to be careful in assuming the worst in our children. As parents, we can only provide the best care and guidance to the best of our abilities.

There are some important lessons to know while parenting our children. Of course, each parent learns different things every day and we respect those who do. But here are some crucial ones you can take on board while you witness your child growing up.

Avoid worshipping your children. Let them know the difference between being selfish and selfless.

It’s easy to get caught up in the moment with your children when they’re young. When they’re babies, life becomes about them. It’s important to realise that as parents, we should avoid worshipping our children and help them understand the difference between being selfish and selfless. We should avoid letting ourselves prioritising their needs all-the-time as they grow up. We don’t want them to grow into self-centred individuals. Help them realise the importance of showing compassion and respect to other people and telling them that putting the needs of others before their own is also important too.

Perfection doesn’t exist. 

As mentioned earlier in this article, we as humans make mistakes. We aren’t programmed to be perfect individuals, although some people strive to be; maybe as a working professional but as a parent? Never. It’s okay to show disappointment in your children when they make a mistake but to make them feel guilty over it won’t work. As parents, it’s our responsibility to effectively communicate what we expect from our children and if they do make a mistake, we must take the time to sit them down and help them understand the consequences of their actions.

We’re their family, not their friends.

A common saying in life is ‘family is everything’ and as we provide for our children on a daily basis, it truly does amount to that. They come home to us, they eat with us, they play with us and as the years go by, we share a special connection with each other. Parents sometimes mistake the fact that they need to have their child’s approval at all times and become their “best friend”; we have the ability to create this platform of happiness for them, but when it comes to being angry with the decisions we make? We should let them feel that anger. In the end, we aren’t there to please them and get their approval. When they aren’t happy with a responsible decision we’ve made in our lives, we should allow them to realise that not everything has to happen their way.

Make the most of their childhood – they won’t be small forever!

There are days during parenthood where we wish our children were older – then life would be easier right?! Of course, they will be eventually but there will be aspects to childhood that we’ll miss. We’ll miss their unlimited cuddles, their ongoing imagination when it comes to playtime, their way of saying the most random things and making us laugh. We forget as parents that we should cherish these moments with our little ones now rather than later. Be strongly involved in their childhood; your involvement as a parent in that stage is more important than you know.

Don’t mould your child’s future. Be their guiding light.

It’s tempting to dictate the choices of your child because ‘you know what’s best for them’ right? As a parent, we must realise that the course of our actions and the way we treat our children impact them for the rest of their lives. You can only provide them with the guidance and skills to approach life’s challenges. Especially when they reach the teenager life stage, you need to put faith in your child that they make the decisions that they’re happy with. Never feel the need to put pressure on your child’s life. Always provide them with the best advice possible and let them know you have their support no matter what. It’s not your place to mould their future; give them the power to make decisions for themselves when they get older.

Parenthood is a beautiful journey and how you undertake the journey is subjective to each individual. Always remember that most of us are winging it and no parent is perfect. We can only offer our children the love and support they need to be prepared for the world and its challenges. We cannot protect them from everything; we can only do our best to be prepared for this crazy thing called life.