PARENTING STYLES EXPLAINED
Written by Caroline Meyer
There are a number of different parenting styles. Some parents will combine styles or stick to a specific style. Here are the commonly recognized parenting styles:
Instinctive Parenting
One of the most common parenting styles is the instinctive parenting style. There are no hard and fast rules in this parenting style and parents rely on their own instincts as to how to handle various situations. This style of parenting will often combine aspects of the parent’s own upbringing and childhood or be in complete opposition. These parents pick up cues from their children and parent accordingly. They may be a bit more traditional in their parenting and may incorporate a more classic parenting style without changing due to the latest trends.
Attachment Parenting
Just as it sounds, this parenting style is focused around the bond between child and parent. This parenting style focuses on intuitive development and emotional wellbeing. This type of parenting usually includes extended breast feeding, carrying baby around for an extended period and even encouraging the child to sleep in the same bed as the parents. The parent is constantly there and there is minimal separation in the early years.
Helicopter Parenting
Helicopter parenting involves hovering over your children and attempting to control and monitor every aspects of their lives. This will include detailing what they can and can’t do when it comes to their interests and even the friends that they make. They are rarely allowed space to explore creatively or to have any alone time. As babies they often don’t get opportunities for individual play and will have their free time dictated. While helicopter parenting has been shown to produce children that do better academically, these children are often socially awkward and are unable to make independent decisions. They become used to being told what to do and will not act of their own accord.
Authoritative Parenting
Authoritative parents will have firm guidelines and boundaries laid out and their children will be informed of what is expected of them. Boundaries and consequences are laid out and made clear and children are expected to comply. However, this isn’t done so strictly as to not allow negotiation. Parents will allow discussion and compromise and some negotiation while maintaining the parental role. Children know the consequences for their actions and parents using this style will only offer one warning for smaller ones and often no warning for older children when the house rules are breached. This role is strict but still nurturing and does allow for the child to develop a measure of independence.
Permissive Parenting
This style of parenting is very indulgent of the child and the parents often see themselves as friends or guides as opposed to being parents. These parents do not lay out rules or set guidelines. They will not demand anything from their children nor set any specific expectations. Children are generally not disciplined and there are no consequences for behaviours. These parents will usually rely on having a conversation with the child but not enforcing a strict regime. These children are raised in a permissive environment and may have problems with authority later in life.
Uninvolved Parenting
This type of parenting can verge on neglect when parents move too far into this type of parenting style. Parents that practise uninvolved parenting will usually not be involved in their children’s lives nor offer any emotional support. They will usually supply the basics such as clothing, food and shelter but in every other way allow the child to do as they please. These children will not be given any boundaries or guidelines and there will be little to no consequences for poor behaviour. These children may actually be neglected to the extent that they may not even be given the basics to live. They will usually have emotional problems and will perform poorly in almost all areas of their lives. These children may also have problems forming attachments as adults. Social interactions and appropriate behaviour will generally be tricky for children raised by uninvolved parents. This is not a good parenting style for raising a well-rounded, resilient and emotionally healthy child.
Children need love and support. Appropriate discipline, boundaries and expectations will also go a long way to raising a child that feels secure and grounded. Parental guidance is extremely important in the overall upbringing. Most parents will use a combination of the above styles over the formative years. Parenting styles may also change from child to child and where they are in their development. While some rules may stay the same such as there being a bedtime, a 3-year-old and a 13-year-old are unlikely to have the same bedtimes. You are the only person that can best decide on the best way to parent your child. Avoid the last style as far as possible and raise your kids in the parenting style combinations best suited to your family and your children.