The Pros And Cons Of Eloping In The Jolly Season
Written By: Genie Price
Christmas is a time for joy and togetherness, as are weddings and other celebrations of “love.”
And, though we know weddings can be beautiful, once-in-a-lifetime experiences you share with your nearest and dearest and of course, the one person you want to spend forever with, they can also cost thousands of dollars and can be a major headache.
So, why not elope instead?
Rather than tackle a full marriage ceremony, Bec Afanasiew gives her personal reasons for making the choice to elope.
Pros of Eloping:
Less expense:
According to the Bride To Be 2015 ‘Cost of Love’ survey, a wedding in Australia is now estimated to cost around $65,482 – almost double the average spend of three years ago, which was a huge $36,000. Both numbers significantly close to those needed for a deposit on a house, however, figures for elopement come out far less than that.
Even small, deluxe “elopement packages” at luxury resorts come in far beneath the 36,000 price tag. Courthouse weddings in many states cost less than $100 dollars.
Figures which Bec Afanasiew and her long-term partner, Trevor are thankful for. Bec laughs when she reads the figures and says “what happened to the days when it was simple like the1800’s where a maypole and a cake would suffice.”
Bec suggests the best thing you can do when planning your elopement/wedding is to stop, take a deep breath, and sit down with your fiancé to work out what you both want and along with it – the financials.
The couple agrees “neither of us wanted to spend a fortune on a wedding so we decided on another option”…“Either go to a marriage registry or to elope.” They decided to elope in Bali.
Research shows it is possible to purchase an elopement package, which incorporates your ceremony as well as your honeymoon. This works out cheaper than using various locations. If you do your research, there are some hot spots who will provide the ceremony for free if you have chosen their resort as your location to elope.
Be mindful that on some Islands, Sunday is a religious day and they may or may not offer a service on these days or public holidays.
Less stress:
As sad as it is, finances play a huge part in a couple’s stress levels, as well as their decision to elope or marry.
Though the event itself is usually fun and fabulous, the stress of organising a traditional wedding is far higher than elopement when you take into consideration items such as church and car hire, reception costs – caterers and menu planning as well as working out seating arrangements for 100 plus people.
Bec says that for her and Trevor – the planning journey for their elopement has been “significantly less stressful” than what others have dealt with for their larger, more traditional ceremony.
And, because the Christmas period isn’t that popular a time to engage in elopement, research indicates the availability of locations and venue as well and cost of items such as flowers – can be cheaper at this time of the year.
That is good news when looking in admiration of some of the most popular destinations!
More intimacy:
A recent survey indicates that couples prefer elopement for the level of intimacy. It is believed to nurture the romance and level of “togetherness” in that, it is “just the two of us”, and at Christmas time, the celebrations are already full of happiness and laughter, so why not add to it by having a celebration of “love”.
Having this private ceremony will enable both partners to be honest with each other without the glaring eyes of 100 guests listening to your every word. So, if your man, like many others – is one that gets stage fright every time he opens his mouth, then eloping in a private ceremony may be the way to go.
A holiday also:
Taking only 6 months to “plan” their elopement, Bec admits, “We actually started to plan the family holiday first and it worked out for us to tie the elopement into it as well”.
Bec and Trevor are excited to be taking this step, and though overall happy with the decision to elope, there were a few downsides to this decision.
The Cons of Eloping:
Absent-Family and Friends:
Many Mothers and Fathers want to share in the joy of seeing their “baby girl or boy” walk down the aisle, and often, some friends may also find this pill hard to swallow, but the biggest downfall and one of the hardest parts of the planning is leaving behind those that wanted to share in the day’s celebrations also.
“When I told my Mum,” Bec says “she was disappointed,” but goes on to say “we have organised a celebration with family and friends when we return to Perth,” which has hopefully kept everyone feeling involved and at ease with their choice.
It’s a challenging time for couples, but they are encouraged to do what is best for their own wants and needs, whether they be financial or otherwise, when making this already hard decision.
Distance:
Bec is the kind of girl who likes to see things up close and in person, therefore choosing Bali as their destination made that a bit more trying – “distance was a barrier, seeing photos of items such as flowers and cakes, trying to choose – was difficult” so she decided to leave these final details until the “last minute.”
“By leaving them to the last minute, I do run the risk of limited availability for these things, but these are the particulars I wanted to see in person,” Bec admits.
And, with good reason, as Ixora Cakes and Beecup Cakes in Bali display such elegant designs for their wedding cakes, to truly know what you are getting, a cake must be taste tested first.
Weather:
Particularly in places like Bali, around December – there is a 35% chance of rain on the day. However, Bec is not fazed by this and gives her honest opinion when she says “we will just roll with it if it rains, we plan to embrace it.”
Bec and Trevor are scheduled to leave Perth for Bali in December with the plan to elope on the 21st, the perfect time to celebrate a Merry Christmas elopement in 2016. Good luck.
Other important information:
The legalities:
Many moons ago where elopement was considered involving jumping through a bedroom window at midnight and running away together, in this day and age a little more planning may be involved before you can take that leap.
Most resorts can pre-arrange the licence to save you a visit to the Registry Office.
However, you will need to take original or certified copies of –
– birth certificates
– passports
– divorce papers (if previously married)
– death certificate of spouse if widowed
– a confirmatory letter of current marital status where the couple resides or a statutory declaration signed by a Justice of the Peace or Solicitor to prove he/she has not entered into a marriage before.
Whether you choose a traditional wedding or elopement, it is your day that should represent both partner’s personalities, and the important thing to remember is to enjoy the process.
A wedding and an elopement are a lifetime commitment – the planning that goes into, however, is not. Sit back and enjoy the journey ahead with the one you love.