Written by Caroline Meyer

To many couples making a baby sounds like a lot of fun. It’s when conception doesn’t occur as expected that things may become rather strained. Tracking ovulation, sex on demand and treating each other as baby making machines can place a real strain on a relationship. What was once intimate and fun may start to feel like work. It can get even more difficult as time goes by and the goal of falling pregnant just doesn’t seem to be happening. This can lead to stress, depression and a lower sex drive. Romance tends to take a back seat and all the fun and intimacy that should be enjoyed when making love seems to disappear. There are some things you can do to keep the romance alive when trying to conceive. 

Try harnessing your inner teenager and get out your mobile phone. Take the time for a call during the day when you can whisper sweet nothings to each other. Maybe send a naughty text to turn both your minds on to getting in the mood for bedroom antics later on. Try some role play, wear something sexy or find other ways to connect on a fun and intimate level. A nice massage which can turn a little more erotic is a great way to get things started. Take the time to caress each other and appreciate your partner as a person, not just a piece in the baby-making puzzle. 

Don’t be restricted by the cycle. You can enjoy sex even on the days you are not particularly fertile. Besides increasing the chance for conception, this will ensure that you actually have sex for pleasure and not just to conceive. It allows you to let go and just go with the flow. There is less pressure on the days that you aren’t at your most fertile, so have fun and play around together when there is less anxiety. 

Remember the quickie? Those days when you couldn’t wait to connect with your partner? There may not have been time for lots of foreplay and long drawn out make out sessions, but you wanted to join together so badly that you just couldn’t wait? Spice up your fun by having a quickie now and then. No time for romance on an optimal moment in your cycle? A quickie works just as great and it puts less pressure on both of you. 

Take a break and get away from your own bedroom if you can. A vacation can do a lot to reduce stress and bring back your mojo. When making love in your own bedroom has become a chore, a change of scenery may make all the difference. If you can’t get away from your home, take the sex out of the bedroom for a while. The shower, the lounge, the pool or anywhere else you can have fun together without the neighbours being able to watch could be just what you need to spice things up and get the juices flowing. You could also have date night with your partner and spend time doing some handholding, hugging and kissing to stimulate your libido.  Just making that intimate connection can go a long way to having sex fun again. 

Don’t be afraid to try new things in the bedroom. Bring on the essential oils, body chocolate and blindfolds. Whatever you both are good to try out to bring back the heat between you two, go ahead and give it a go. Some things may end up just being a laugh, but that may even be enough to get you to connect to an intimate level again. While you both are aware of the end goal, sex does not always have to be about trying to conceive. Make it about the two of you and your love for each other. Bring back the intimate connection. Enhancing your libido and making it fun may be all you need to make trying to conceive enjoyable for both of you.