Sacrifices: A Reality Check for New Parents
By Karli Steenkamp
People tell you how amazing it is to have children and how they change your lives forever. They warn you that parenting is hard, but not very often do people tell you why they say it is hard. Parents sometimes feel bad if they talk about how hard parenting is or the sacrifices they have had to make when they have children. It is perfectly normal to grieve a little bit for the life you had; the life where you decide to go to the shop for milk and be back in five minutes. With kids, this could be a 30 minute process just to get out of the house. There are many sacrifices that one makes when you have kids. It is not often spoken about, but it should be. It helps to know that other people go through the same things as you.
Social life
Your social life will really take a knock. It is not easy to plan a night out. You always have to make sure that you have a babysitter and when your child is not sleeping over, you need to be back at a reasonable hour. It is important that parents have a balanced life. Make sure you do get a break or a night out with or without the kids. It might just take a little more planning than usual.
You should not become home bodies. There are many child-friendly places where you as a family can go and have fun. Every outing will take a fair amount of consideration. For your own sanity sake, stick to your child’s routine to avoid a very cranky, tired or hungry baby.
Sleep
It is amazing how parents can function with little sleep. It will take some time for you to establish a sleep routine that works for you. In the beginning, babies need more frequent feeds to help them gain weight.
You become a light sleeper as soon as you have kids. You might not wake up from a message on your phone or a raging thunder storm, but the softest moan from your baby will have you awake and listening.
A monitor is a good idea if your baby sleeps in another room – that way you won’t have to stand up too many times to see if he or she is ok.
As parents, you need your sleep. There are different ways to make sure that happens. To have your baby in the room with you might be one way for a peaceful night’s sleep.
Sleeping in is most likely something of the past.
Work
Your work life will definitely adjust a little bit. To go to work early is a luxury or just being on time for a meeting is a challenge. It might not be possible to put in those extra hours that you used to. To get to work with no stains on your clothes is another challenge. Work needs to get done and kids need to be loved, fed and cared for. This unfortunately means you will probably only work once everyone is asleep.
Money
There are so many things to think about that will impact your budget. Once you have children, it is always a good idea to get life insurance and educational policies, which will help you save for your child’s education.
With little one’s growing up fast, you will spend quite a bit on clothes and shoes, not to mention nappies. Child care is an extra expense, which will make a huge dent in your budget.
Instead of buying a new pair of shoes for yourself, you will rather buy something for your child. However true this might be, you also deserve to be spoilt and feel good.
All these sacrifices are a few things that new parents might not have thought about. It is true that your life will never be the same again. However, all the sacrifices are worth it. There will be moments where you spend with your baby and remember why you became a parent in the first place. Parenting is hard and wonderful at the same time, but you also need to make sure that you take care of yourself. A happy parent makes a happy baby.