School Mums and Frenemies: Dealing with Tricky Parent Friendships

February 28, 2025 /

Being a parent during school years is both good and hard. Parents build many types of relationships, but friendships with other school mums can be complex. Some become real, lasting friendships, but others are more like a tricky dance with both friendship and rivalry. We often call these frenemies.

Knowing the Frenemy Thing

A frenemy is part friend, part enemy. They seem friendly but might have hidden bad feelings or act passive-aggressive. School moms have frenemies because school is a social place with lots of activities and events.

Why School Mums Become Frenemies

A few things cause school mums to become frenemies:

  • Comparing: Parents check out each other’s kids’ grades and how well they do. This can cause bad feelings and wanting to be better.
  • Fitting In: Wanting to look perfect makes some mums try to be better than others.
  • Time Problems: Different schedules can cause problems and make people feel left out.
  • Different People: Different ideas about raising kids can cause fights.

Spotting Frenemy Actions

It is hard to know a frenemy, but here are some signs:

  • They act nice, but you can feel something bad underneath.
  • They give mean compliments.
  • They ignore you or act mad without saying why.
  • They are nice one day but not the next.
  • They try to make their kids look better than yours.

How to Handle Frenemies

To deal with frenemies, be smart and know how to say no. Here are some ideas:

  • Have Limits: Be nice, but do not share too much about yourself.
  • Be Happy: Spend time with people who support you.
  • Stay Away From Gossip: Do not talk badly about others.
  • Protect Yourself: If someone is mean, stay away from them.
  • Think of Yourself: Your mind and your kid are the most important.

Make Frenemies into Friends?

Sometimes, talking can make things better. If you feel safe, talk about the problem and say you want to be friends. But know that it might not work, and that is fine.

Frenemies are part of being a school mum. It can be hard, but knowing why it happens and setting limits can help. Doing what is best for you and your kid will make your time in the school community better.