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Written by Jana Angeles 

Sleeping in separate beds doesn’t mean your relationship is hitting rock bottom – it may be a smart move for you and your partner. If you have come to the conclusion that you both rather sleep in separate beds, it doesn’t mean you lose the intimacy of your relationship. Being apart is is keeping you together and if you are having problems sleeping in the same room as your partner, consider being in separate rooms and see how you feel about the situation. There are numerous benefits to sleeping separately from your partner, which may help improve your relationship with each other: 

You’ll be waking up happier 

There’s nothing quite like waking up from a nice, long sleep. If you and your partner have had your fair share of arguments because one of you isn’t getting a good night’s rest, it’s a quick and easy fix to sleep in separate rooms instead. Waking up happier not only contributes to a person’s wellbeing, but it has a positive impact on their health too. 

Less pressure on intimacy 

When you’re sharing the same bed, you may feel pressured to have sex with your partner because of you being so close together. Sleeping separately means that there’s less pressure from you when it comes to intimacy with your partner. You also save the embarrassment of rejecting one another for sex if either one of you is simply too exhausted to do it. 

You have some alone time to yourself 

If you’re an introvert, you will understand that having some alone time is what you need to feel recharged and ready to socialise again. It’s nothing personal, you just want to be left alone. When you have some time to yourself, you get to do the things that you want without any distractions. As much as you love and care for your partner, sometimes you just need silence to read a good book in your own bed. This is where sleeping in separate rooms could come in handy! 

Before you decide to sleep separately with your partner, here are some key takeaways you should consider before making the move: 

  • Assess your living situation. If you only have a two-bedroom apartment and have a child together, take turns sharing the couch until you both can afford to upgrade to a house with more rooms. 
  • Identify the problems that may occur when you and your partner share the bed. If you’re concerned about your partner snoring or if they go to the toilet more often than you do, communicate how both of you will approach the issue. 
  • Don’t let other people judge you. If you have decided to take the step in sleeping separately with your partner, then good for you. There’s no need to feel ashamed that you have your own rooms. It just goes to show that you and your partner have a forward-thinking mindset when it comes to making these type of decisions together. 
  • Show respect for your partner if they are encouraging you to sleep separately. Don’t dismiss their wishes just because they no longer want to share the same bed as you. Put yourself in their shoes first before coming to the conclusion that they no longer have romantic feelings for you anymore. 
  • Talk to your children about sleeping separately. They may feel very confused and wonder why you and your partner have decided to not sleep together anymore. Reassure them that you are not fighting, showcasing maturity in your decision-making. 
  • Embrace the change. You may have been sleeping with your partner in the same bed for years and only now have decided its best to sleep separately. It may feel weird at first but if it’s a decision that both of you felt strongly about, it was one worth making! 

Sleeping in separate beds does not make you and your partner different from any other relationship out there. Many couples eventually make the switch to sleep in their own beds and it may be because they wanted to respect their partner’s wishes of personal space, convenience as well as minimising any distractions that could cause interrupted sleep. You are only doing what’s best for your own relationship so don’t let other people’s judgements get you down. 

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