Is Spacing Your Pregnancies A Good Thing?

February 15, 2018 /

Written by Jana Angeles 

Spacing your pregnancies is an individualised decision for all families. Not many people realise this but most families have different perspectives when it comes to planning the second or third child. We may have career goals to reach, our job or living situations might have changed or the fact we want to spend an equal amount of care when it comes to our kids. As parents, we don’t want either sibling to feel jipped, preventing the inevitable jealousy that may drive them apart. We have the responsibility of making the choice of how long we should space out pregnancies.   

It’s beneficial to have a plan to allow time for our bodies to heal and recover from a recent pregnancy. Society has a hold over us when it comes to having kids so don’t feel pressured to follow what is seen as the “norm”. You can only plan for another child when you’re ready to do all the sleepless nights, the terrible twos and more all over again. In this article, we address the pros and cons of spacing your pregnancies and look thoroughly at the options on the years apart your children can have.  

Less Than 2 Years  

Pros 

  • You’ll be able to raise the kids together, making it less demanding for you to repeat the cycle of breastfeeding, nappy changing, etc. Some often wish they had twins or triplets just so they could equally do all the duties at once instead of waiting for a couple of years. 
  • They will be in-sync when it comes to activities. The children will be able to play similar games and have about the same learning stages in their development. They will also be able to go through the milestones together instead of separately, reducing the anxiety of going at it alone. 
  • Though raising two kids with a small gap can be draining for the account, there are plenty of out-of-school activities that do special discounts if you enroll two or more children.  

Cons 

  • It will be very intense and at times stressful in raising two kids that have a small gap. You will have to master the art of multi-tasking and keeping on top of things as a parent. 
  • It will seem like your kids will be coordinating tantrums, crying and toilet accidents on the regular, making you feel like you can’t catch a break. 
  • It could put a strain on married couples. Things like laundry, constantly cleaning the house and having limited time to spend nights without the kids can make you feel like you’re spreading yourself thin. 

2 to 4 years apart  

Pros 

  • You can pace yourself when it comes to looking after the kids. It’ll feel like you’ve had enough break to compose yourself for your next child and to go through the responsibilities of raising a newborn again. 
  • You and your partner will feel like you have time for yourselves. It’s less demanding for you because you can divide your attention to each child much easier. You can also squeeze in a couple of date nights on the regular. 
  • Works well if you’ve taken maternity leave and gotten back to full-time work after the birth of your first child. You would’ve had time to save money on expenses for your next child, taking two to four years gap. 

Cons 

  • It’s tough raising a full-grown toddler and a newborn baby. It can be exhausting trying to meet the demands of both, especially if they’re in a completely different stage of their development.  
  • You will struggle getting back into the routine of raising a newborn after a couple of years. The transition will be much harder if you go back on maternity leave, especially if you’ve been working for a while. 
  • Sibling rivalry can occur. Your eldest child can feel left out, especially in the first few weeks of your newborn needing extra attention.  

Five years or more   

Pros 

  • You have given undivided attention to each child. No one will feel jipped when it comes to your care because you were able to raise each child until they have started schooling. 
  • You get to know each child as individuals and really understand their personalities. Having more than five years gap allows you to keep yourself focused on each child when they reach new milestones. 
  • Your eldest child can be a huge help when it comes to assisting you in raising your newborn. 

Cons 

  • Takes even longer to adjust because you’ve gotten used to the routine of raising your first-born. It feels like an even longer commute between each child. 
  • You will struggle with prioritising time for each child. You may need to sacrifice missing out on important school events because you’ve had to stay home trying to calm down an upset baby. Your eldest will feel jealous and frustrated over this. 
  • The eldest child may feel obligated to take on some babysitting duties. This can get in the way if they’re a teenager trying to juggle school work, a social life and their hobbies. 
  • Not ideal for mothers in their 30s as later pregnancies can lead to higher risk of health issues for either parent or newborn.  

Overall, it’s entirely up to you when you should plan for your next baby. Remember to always do your research and plan carefully when it comes to your lifestyle and what demands you can meet for yourself.

It is completely okay if you have career goals you want to achieve first before having your next child or if you’re ready to have your next child in 1-2 years after your firstborn. There is no right answer but be sure to look after your health first and take cue signs from your body to prepare for the next pregnancy.