STRESS MANAGEMENT TOOLS FOR KIDS
Written by Caroline Meyer
Stress is on the increase for children and teenagers in this fast-paced society of today. As the new school year approaches, it brings with it further challenges. For older kids, this may include moving away from home to study. There may be other stresses at home such as moving to a new house, divorce, a new baby or any other major changes that bring on anxiety and even panic. Your child may have social anxiety or worry about their academic abilities. For little ones just starting school there could be separation anxiety and a lack of confidence.
Depression is also being diagnosed a lot more often among older children and teenagers. There is a lot more pressure on kids to conform and fit in as well as to compete with their peers than there was in the past. Some of the symptoms of high levels of stress include panic attacks, high levels of anxiety, headaches, stomach aches, withdrawal and isolation, exhaustion and fatigue, depression, sadness, feeling worthless or helpless, appetite issues and sleeplessness. There are ways of managing stress to prevent it becoming excessive and difficult to deal with. You do need some stress in life to encourage motivation and provide extra energy to reach goals. It is when the stress becomes overwhelming that it can affect mental and physical wellbeing. Many older children will look for ways to reduce anxiety and will try drugs and alcohol as a means to numb themselves.
DISTRACTION
Help children learn to use distractions as a way of coping with excess stress. Make a list of activities that they find calming and relaxing or that take their minds off what is stressing them out. When the anxiety starts to build, have them pick out an activity and get out of the stressful situation for a short period of time. This needs to become a habit early on as it can be difficult to get out of the stressful situation once you are in it. Learning how to break free from the anxiety can be difficult, but once it becomes a habit, it is easier. Distracting themselves from the anxiety producing situation switches the brain from worry mode to focus elsewhere and breaks the anxiety cycle. These activities can be as simple as colouring in, playing with a pet, taking a walk, reading a chapter in a book, talking to a parent or friend, anything that deactivates the stress producing centres. Limit the time spent on these activities though or they will never get back to the task on hand.
DEFUSE THE SITUATION
Help your child learn to defuse the situation that is causing anxiety and stress. Most of the time the stress comes from situations with an element of fear. Fear of failure is one of the major ones. Get them to look at the situation in ways that make it less threatening. Help them to see what might happen and what the long-term outcome would be should they fail. Show them that there are other options and not everything is all or nothing. This can help reduce high levels of stress. Imagining outcomes and what they can do in the event of failure, helps them realize that they can cope if they happen to fail and that for the most part, they can try again. Help them look at a future time when the particular stressor has passed. This will help them build confidence and be able to manage the stress better.
TALK ABOUT IT
We often think that if we ignore the stress or try and push it down inside that it will get rid of it. This generally does not work and it will eventually boil over causing a greater disruption. Teach your child to examine and accept the emotion such as sadness, anger, fear and to not put themselves down for feeling the way they do. Once they have accepted these emotions, they can find ways to move past them. The sheer negativity around the emotions can actually increase stress to an enormous degree. Have them learn to write down or verbally say how they feel. Acknowledge the emotion to yourself or talk to someone about how you feel. For older children, keeping an adjustment diary where they write down the emotions can help when there is no one they feel confident in talking to about the situation. Getting the emotion out in the open and acknowledging it without a value judgement can help children get past them and push on through to their goals.
You can start helping your child deal with stress from a young age using the distraction techniques. As they get older, they can use some of the other techniques to help reduce stress. Should the stress become overwhelming and lead to panic attacks and depression, consult with your family doctor in order to get help. Depression is a disease that is very debilitating, but it can be cured.