THE IMPORTANCE OF FRIENDSHIP
Written by Lance Green
Friendship is important. As parents, especially us dads, we need to be able to have friendships in our life to help us get through the curve balls it offers. Just because we have less time now than before we had kids, doesn’t mean we should take our friendships for granted. Here are some of the reasons why dads should value their friendships now, more than ever!
Good for your mental health
Having the occasional catch up with your friends can do wonders for your mental health. Being a parent can be mentally and physically exhausting, so sometimes you just need to leave the house for a little while and have a good time, exchanging jokes with your friends and have dinner and a few drinks.
You also have the opportunity to:
- See how your friends are doing. Friendship is a two-way street and sometimes, it gives your friends the opportunity to open up to you. They may be going through some rough times in their life and having a catch up will allow them to open up to you about their problems and have a bit of a rant.
- Remind yourself that it’s okay to have fun once in a while. It’s understandable that if you’re a new dad, you may want to stick around at home and take on the baby duties, but it’s always good to take the time to relax. Being with friends and having a good time gives you a bit of a breather and the chance to reconnect again.
- Feel less isolated. You may feel that with juggling work and family, you don’t have time for a social life. It’s important to make room to catch up with your friends every so often. It’s not only good for your self-esteem, but it also stops you from overthinking that your friends have drifted from you on purpose!
You have people you can relate to
When your changing nappies, talking in baby speech and doing the errands, the routine of it all can feel a bit repetitive. However, when you catch up with your friends, you have people you can relate to and talk about things that are happening in the news, what recent TV shows you have been watching and more. Sometimes when you’re a parent, you forget to be your own person because you’re too busy putting the kids’ needs above yours (which isn’t necessarily a bad thing), however, when you see your friends, it helps you value your own individuality!
Having friends you relate to allows you to be:
- Confident in who you are as a person. When we’re attached to our priorities, we might neglect our own needs and wants once. Seeing friends encourages you to seek out your goals and recognise your own wants are as an individual.
- Thankful that you have people to turn to when going through problems. There’s nothing more reassuring than to hear your friends go, “I feel you” or “I know what you mean”. It can be mind-boggling sometimes that we have to juggle so much as parents but it really puts things in perspective when you know that the people in your life are going through the same hurdles as you too.
- Imperfect in your own perfect way. You may have friends who are parents too, sharing hilarious stories about their own kids and parenting troubles. If you’ve placed so much pressure on yourself lately, hearing stories like this can make you realise that we need to make the most of the imperfect journey that is parenting and embrace it while we can.
While we as dads play an integral role in our children’s lives, we also have to be mindful the importance of nurturing our existing friendships as adults. No matter how crazy our schedules are, we must learn that having meaningful friendships can help boost our self-esteem, remind us that perfectionism is a pure myth and that it’s okay to be that ‘fun’ adult again once in a while. You don’t need to sacrifice your social life entirely just to fulfill your parenting duties. At the end of the day, just know that some people in your life have your back no matter what. In the words of Dionne Warwick, that’s what friends are for!