THE SCIENCE OF DAD BODS AND DAD BRAINS

Written by Caroline Meyer

While the changes in a mum are fairly obvious physically and even mentally, men also change in preparation to becoming a father. The impact of motherhood on women is well documented and there are many thousands of published papers on the research into how women are affected socially, psychologically and biochemically. There have been very few studies done as to the changes that happen for men. Many of the early studies were contradictory and it is only recently that there has been some definitive progress in this arena. 

In general, in mammalian studies, the male of the species does not have much to do with rearing their young. Research done on mammals to determine brain changes has therefore been limited. The most effective studies have been on Prairie Voles which are attentive fathers. They actually grow new neurons in their hippocampus when their babies are born. This is the region of the brain that handles memory and learning. These neurons sprout dendritic spines to connect up with other brain cells. This more than likely helps daddy Vole recognise his own babies. When it comes to the human brain, it is a lot harder to figure out the changes as you can’t just randomly peak into a human skull. Research is done using a FMRI brain scanner. Dads showed a peak in the reward processing region when shown pictures of toddlers. Men who were not fathers did not show the same amount of activity on this region. So, while it is not definitive and further research is needed, it has been determined that there is a definite change in men’s brains when they become fathers. There is also a suggestion that there is a nature dampening of desire and a heightened interest in bonding and taking care of their offspring. 

Adult men shift from a more conquest role (sexual) to a more caretaking role leading to an urge to take care of their families. Their energy is directed inward to the family circle instead of outward to finding the next conquest. It is believed that the hormone oxytocin increases leading to a strengthening of the bond between father and child. This seems to spike just prior to the birth of a child. While it is well known that this hormone is involved in motherhood, it is now more accepted that this is also a paternal hormone, increasing the emotions involved in caregiving. 

Interestingly, the male hormone testosterone takes a dip by over 30% in most new dads. This can occur during the pregnancy and after the birth. The lower testosterone levels and higher prolactin result in men that are more likely to act on the sound of a crying baby and also more likely to engage with children. While this drop-in testosterone signals a better relationship between dad and baby, if the levels drop too low, men may suffer from depression. This can lead to the opposite affect when the men are then less likely to take part in any caregiver roles. So even though they don’t know it, men are also having hormonal changes leading up to their new roles. 

Fatherhood can also impact on a man’s psychology. Being a dad is a role which can change how men see themselves and has a big impact on identity. Having the responsibility of taking care of another human being can have a major impact on a man.  Things will change dramatically especially in how they spend their money, time and attention. They will now impact another life and have some responsibility in teaching, nurturing, guiding and supporting a child. This can bring a lot of pride and joy especially when a child meets milestones. There can also be fear, pain and guilt. Things they used to do in the past may need to be set aside and dads often feel guilty for taking time out for self-care in the same way as mothers do. Men may also feel hurt that their children initially bond more to their mothers even if the father gives an almost equal amount of attention. This is biological and although fathers may acknowledge that the baby depends more on the mother, they may still feel unhappy about the closer bond. This can carry on into when the babies become toddlers and even afterwards and some men battle to come to terms with not having as strong a bond with their child as the mother does. 

Another interesting fact is that men who live with their children are usually harder workers and more successful and tend to earn more than counterparts that live apart from their children. Dads that are closely boned with their children are usually more responsive and responsible.  While it may not always be possible for Dads to spend as much time with their children, they should spend what time they can. Take paternity leave when their children are born where possible to spend some time bonding with the newborn and giving mum a break as well. Thereafter, make time for the babies and children every day even if it is only a half hour of quality time daily. Spend weekends and holidays with the family and give your children as much support as possible. This will help improve the overall bonding and make for happier fathers as well.  Don’t forget to do date night with mum now and then after you get through the first few months of being parents. Keeping your bond as a couple intact is a big part of fatherhood and will help towards parenting in general.  Dads may let the heavy gym regime lapse a little when they become dads, leading to a slightly softer middle, but that’s okay too. Staying healthy is important so make sure to take some time out from being a Dad now and then to let off some steam but remember to allow mum the same. There are many changes when becoming a father. The key is to accept them and adjust to the best of your abilities and accept the confusion as well as the joy that comes from being a new parent.