Written by Lance Green
First off, congratulations, you’re about to be a dad to a cute little bundle of joy. You’re about to begin a new chapter of your life where you are going to experience excitement and an array of emotions you’ve never had to deal with before. So, it is very normal for new dad’s to be anxious or feel unprepared.
Mothers are generally touted as the caregivers for their babies, while dads’ associations to their babies are limited to fertilisation. However, this narrative has started to change drastically over the past few years.
After 9 months of turmoil, a painful delivery, physical weakness, and possible postpartum depression, your spouse or partner needs some well-deserved rest. It is time for you to step up and take the reins now.
Paternity leaves are the new dope. From celebs like Prince Harry, and Virat Kohli taking paternity leaves to take care of their juniors. Paternity leaves can help make things a tad bit easier.
Try to get at least an extra week of leave, this will help with stuff that will pop up later.
Buckle Up to Be Dirty
Wet diapers are going to be your worst enemies for the immediate foreseeable future. Expect about five diaper changes per day. Usually, as a thumb of rule, you need to change one diaper for each day the baby’s been alive.
Learn to change the baby’s diapers. For boys, you need to create a shield with the front of the diaper so that you don’t get a shower of pee. For girls, you’ll need to wipe their private parts to prevent any faecal matter in their genital area.
Holding The Baby
Holding the baby is a necessary skill that all parents must possess. You cannot be a perfect dad as soon as your baby is born. You can get better at it by asking for baby holding instructions from your wife’s guide. There is no shortage for tutorials on YouTube on how to hold your baby.
Holding the baby close to your chest, helps you foster the bonds magically.
Babies are gas machines! They need to be burped frequently after each feeding session. Your wife or spouse or partner is putting in a lot of work every day and is probably exhausted. So, every bit of help counts.
Hold the baby upright by supporting their butt and rub their backs softly until you hear the burp sound. Pretty sure your partner will breathe a sigh of relief when they hear the burp.
Compliment Your Partner
Your partner is exhausted both emotionally and physically. A pregnancy and delivery can leave the mom anxious, scared and with body image issues. After delivery, moms may sometime think that they’d always look pregnant thereafter.
Don’t give her a compliment right off the first page of the Google search results. Be genuine while trying to compliment her. Even a simple, “You look more beautiful than ever.” genuinely from the bottom of your heart goes a long way.
Sex Can Wait
Sex is probably the last thing on your partner’s mind right after delivery. Moreover, breastfeeding causes a drastic drop in libido. Your partner needs to be assured that it is safe for her to engage in any sexual activity because her womb, cervix, the vagina, and incision wounds need to be healed.
No! Definitely not dating another woman! As we mentioned before, your partner needs your support and needs to be shown that you love her more than ever.
A month or so in, the baby’s routines are a bit more fixed, and you’d feel that the passion is coming back in. Dirty diapers, spit ups and incessant cries are not what you have in mind when you hear romantic. An Indoor picnic, Staycation, or just a movie night can be just what you need to rekindle the spark in your relationship.
One piece of final advice would be to stay patient. The next few months are going to push your patience to the edge.
Communicate openly to your partner. Talk to them when you feel stressed and are struggling.
We all make mistakes and that is ok. We all make mistakes, just don’t be too hard on yourself.