THERE’S ALWAYS SOMETHING
By Sheree Hoddinett
Here we are, staring down the barrel of another new year laid out before us. I swear they’re speeding up as I get older, well when it comes to me anyway. When it comes to my girls, it’s like someone hits the remote buttons, slow motion for all the tough stuff and fast forward through all the fun and good bits! If only pause worked, can you imagine how much you could get done?! Let’s see what this year brings. Maybe a bit more mayhem, drama and hopefully some fun thrown in.
I’ve been a mum now for just over five years and I can say that I’ve learnt a lot in that time. In no way does that make me an expert, I’m still very much in the learning stages – I think I always will be. Just when I think I’ve got any kind of handle on things, life throws me another curveball and I’m back at square one. Some days I handle it really well and others, not so much. But I do know that my girls think the world of their mummy, no matter what.
So, why is it I feel like I’m doing such a rough job?
This is a topic I’ve written about before and one I still feel passionate about, good old mum guilt. As mums (and those standing in for the role), we feel this insane guilt if we go off and do something for ourselves, leaving our kids behind. It doesn’t help when they drop the bottom lip or give you the biggest, sweetest cuddle ever either. It hits you right in the heart. It’s like a built-in feeling you can’t shake off no matter what.
Why? Is it a protection for your offspring thing? Is it because society tells you that’s what you must do? Or is it just one of those things? I don’t really know where it comes from or why. But it’s been hanging around since the day I became a mum and I have a feeling it’s not going anywhere.
I never imagined I’d wind up on the path I have found myself on. You have a dream for the future and you can only hope things work out well. But it’s when they don’t, it certainly changes things. I’ve endured some tough things in the last couple of years and I feel I haven’t always been the best mummy to my girls over that time. But what amazes me is they don’t care what I’ve done and they certainly don’t hold grudges. They don’t hate mummy…well not that I know of anyway…they just continue to show their beautiful smiles, awesome cuddles and unconditional love for me. There are times I’m not so sure I deserve it, but I know that’s a decision that’s not up to me. I’m still debating whether that’s a good thing or not.
Kids definitely are resilient creatures. Sure, they feel things just as much, if not worse than us as adults and aren’t always sure how to express themselves. But it depends on how they decide to deal with it. For me, watching my girls is sometimes like watching a movie. Some of the things they get up to can either be entertaining or downright infuriating. I often get told to “chill, relax or take it easy”, not usually by my children of course! If only it was that easy, flick a switch and it’s all good! I know I should try a bit harder and not lose it so easily, but that’s all part and parcel of the parenting gig, learning from our mistakes. And boy, have I made plenty of those! Although I think it’s safe to say my girls still haven’t dropped the notorious F-bomb on me in context yet. I think I have heard it said quietly but I still maintain I can’t be solely to blame on that one!
When I find time, I add a few tales on my own website www.shereekim.com, so head on over and check it out some time.
While I may not provide much in the way of wisdom, I hope you either get a laugh or feel a bit better about what’s happening in your own little world of parenting.
Until next time…