TIPS FOR NEW DADS
Written by Feba Maryann
So, the wait is finally over, your bundle of joy has arrived. Now what? This is exactly what we’ll be dealing with in this article.
Needless to say, dads had it much easier when gender roles were clearly defined and taking care of a child was solely the mother’s duty. But now we’ve thrown away all that misogyny and repression, and subsequently dads are expected to work hand in hand with moms in taking care of the child. So apart from breastfeeding dads can do everything else, like bathing, changing nappies, bottle feeding, sleeping.
That being said, biologically mothers are better equipped to be parents than dads are. Studies have shown that when the child is in distress the mother experiences distress, when the child cries it triggers some hormones in the mother. So, before you go ahead, understand that your partner will be more protective and will want to control every aspect of the baby’s life.
You Will Be Up Sh*Ts Creek
Literally, you will have to deal with a lot of poop. When your child is younger, changing diapers wouldn’t seem like a huge problem but as they grow older the sh*t gets real; real stinky. But nevertheless, ensure that you change a fair share of those nappies.
Your partner will already be having a lot of other stuff stressing her out; like hormonal changes, baby blues, and other physical ailments. Changing diapers is one of the few ways you could help her out. So, get over any aversions you have and be a diaper changing beast.
Talk To Your Baby
No, not because it looks cute, but studies have actually found that talking to your baby may help prevent speech and language delays often seen in toddlers.
So, talk to your baby while you are tending to her needs or as often as you can. Just tell them your favourite quote from a movie or the lyrics of your favourite songs, it really doesn’t matter what you talk to them about.
Reading them books, singing to them or telling them stories will strengthen your father-child bond.
Play With Your Baby
Nurturing a baby can be a tedious and stressful experience, and nothing is a better stressbuster than playing with your baby. You’ll have moments that you can cherish forever in the process as well.
Apart from this, babies grow and learn through playing. When babies explore the things around them, they tend to understand how various things work, this will then set the tempo for future learning. This exploration of their surroundings usually happens by playing with them.
Skin-to-skin contact with your baby also plays a vital role in their brain development and develops a sense of safety and trust with you.
Feeding The Baby
If your baby is 3 months or younger, then breast milk is the ideal diet for them. In which case you can support your partner by helping them get comfortable while feeding. Offer them cushions, water or any kind of help they may want.
In case your partner is having difficulty lactating, support them and encourage your partner to get help. Ensure that they don’t feel guilty. Help in preparing the formula and offer to feed the baby yourself.
Support Your Partner
Your partner is going through a lot. They will experience both high amounts of physical and mental stress. Your partner may experience physical discomforts, stay with them and support them to ensure that they recover fully.
Baby blues are very common in moms and in some cases, they may also experience postpartum depression or anxiety. Seek help immediately in case of the latter.
Don’t neglect your relationship because of the new guest you have. Spend some time with your spouse everyday; let them know that you care and you’re always there for them.
Take A Break
Let us admit it, the ear deafening cries, the stinky diapers you changed, the sleepless nights, a cranky partner, all of this could be very overwhelming. At times you may feel like you are done with everything, and that’s okay. Take a break if you feel you’re at the tipping point.
Get a babysitter or a nanny for a few hours or even a day; go out chill for a while and reset your brain before you go back to war mode.