Toni Pearen – The Passion of Motherhood

Besides being in show business, she has had to tackle another challenging role; being a mother. Slowly getting back into work with Channel 10’s reality TV show, Let’s Do Coffee, she shares how her priorities have changed since having kids.

“It’s difficult especially when you’re very career-orientated,” She says when talking about her experience with motherhood. “I always put my career before everything in my life and then I had children. I was surprised how the priorities I had before changed. I’ve never really had to nurture anything in my life apart from myself, so it’s been really interesting for me. I’m feeling very inspired and very creative so I feel like motherhood has brought out my creativity too.”

Due to having a very career-focused life, Pearen shared why having kids was something that never really crossed her mind. Because of her strong passion for her work, she had many goals she wanted to achieve before settling down. It wasn’t until losing a loved one, having a life with no children became an unfeasible option to her.

“In 2008, my mother died and that’s when I decided to be a parent,’ She explains. “Before my mum died, having children was not on the top of my list which was really strange. As soon as she passed away, it changed for me. I think just subconsciously, or even unconsciously, I knew that I wanted to become a mum because I lost mine. Even my husband and I never talked about having kids. I never thought about having kids – we never discussed it and then my whole world changed after my mum died.”

It’s heartbreaking knowing that she never received the support she needed from her mother; her sole caregiver, the person she could rely on and the one person that could comfort her in times of need. Although her journey throughout life has been an unexpected ride of challenges, she still had the support of her mother-in-law to get through the tough ruts.

“My mother-in-law has been incredibly supportive and knows what it’s been like for me to be a mother without a mother,” She says. “She raised four boys on a big property, so she’s had a totally different experience. It was a really lonely time but I’ve also gained a lot of strength from it knowing that my mum is looking down from up above and being proud of the woman I’ve become; the priorities that I’ve made and the everyday changes I’ve made in myself. Some days it really affects me. Everyday is different and I wish she was here more times than others but you know, she raised me well to be a strong woman so that’s what it’s been.”

Through her loss, Pearen has learnt the inner workings of being a mother; how the decisions she makes affects her family and day-to-day life. Not only that but she’s become incredibly resilient despite how challenging her life has posed to be, and this in return has shaped her into undertaking the role of being a mother with such grace and integrity. In the end, it paid off.

“When you get a good night’s sleep, you certainly feel like you can take on the world the following day,” She says on her experience with raising her kids. “Having two so close in age is tough but when you see them together and loving each other, you know they’ll always have one another and nurturing that relationship is important. It’s those simple moments for me as a mother where I see their relationship growing makes my heart melt the moment I sleep at night.”

And even from those quality moments, she still worries about the simplest things; how much they look up to her at such a young age and the delicate stage in life they’re experiencing; their childhood. Pearen claims that although her natural instincts as a mother makes her think ahead of the future, she finds that the most rewarding part of her role is how she’s able to nurture her kids while they grow up.

“I find it rewarding that I could offer so much love to them,” She says when talking about the best parts of being a parent. “I really am their everything and they look to me for everything and sometimes, that can be really daunting and overwhelming but it’s amazing that somehow you find the answers – whether it’s the right or wrong ones. Your child is everything and that’s what I find the most rewarding for myself; trusting that somehow we’ll make it through this together.”