TRUTHS ABOUT GIVING BIRTH YOU SHOULD KNOW

Written by Lucy Hall

The journey of parenthood is an unforgettable, wonderful and miraculous experience, but the actual birth of a child can be surprising for many parents.  There are many truths that are not discussed or if they are, they may not be discussed in detail. Knowing what’s in store can help expectant mothers to be better prepared and manage their expectations going into labor and delivery.

Let’s have a look at some of the truths that can be downplayed… 

The Reality of Labor Pain

Even if you have read all the books, attended the classes or listened to other mothers’ experiences, once you experience labor pain yourself, the actual feeling can be unexpected.  Labor pain is not only the pain that can be felt during contractions, it can also radiate to the thighs, back and create excruciating pelvic pressure. Though many people are unprepared for the level of the pain that comes with childbirth, there are options for managing it, but be aware that they may not always work as planned.

The Unpredictability of Labor

Due dates are estimates and your baby will decide when they will make the big entrance, this unfortunately, is when you least expect it. When you go into labor it can be sudden, be a slow progression or even stall for hours and hours. The unpredictability of labor can be a frustrating and draining experience, especially if plans for a specific type of birth don’t work out. It’s a good idea to be mentally prepared for labor and expect the unexpected, get yourself comfortable in all birthing scenarios, including an emergency c-section to reduce your stress and know what you want to do if your labor doesn’t go the way you planned!

The Length of Labor

The fast process of labor that is often shown in TV shows and movies is so far removed from the truth, childbirth takes a lot longer.  Labour can last several hours or even days for first time mothers. This extended period of time can be emotionally and physically demanding on mothers.  The latent phase of labor also known as early labor, can be misleading and can be particularly long. This is because the contractions in this phase are irregular and not very strong. As your labor progresses into the active phase, where the contractions become stronger and increase in frequency, the actual birth can still take several more hours.

The Messiness of Birth

Childbirth is messy and a little bit dirty.  There will be blood, amniotic fluid, and other body fluids (all of them can make an appearance) that are included in this experience. It can be a surprise and at times, an overwhelming reality that new parents will face. The messiness of birth is rarely discussed, but it exists., Recognising this before your baby’s birth can help in mentally getting you and your partner ready for the situation as it actually is.

The Aftermath of a Vaginal Birth

The aftermath immediately after a vaginal birth can be alarming to put it mildly. There may be perineal tears, bruising and swelling, which are all very common after childbirth. The use of ice packs, painkillers and sitz baths are often necessary to help manage the discomfort after the birth. 

On top of this, another hurdle that needs to be faced is the first bowel movement after giving birth. Many women find this to be painful and frightening, leading many to fear it more than the labor itself. The need for postpartum care and recovery is crucial and often underestimated.

The Intensity of Postpartum Bleeding

Lochia, which is postpartum bleeding, is another area that can often catch new mothers by surprise. Much heavier than a typical menstrual period, it can last for several weeks. The intensity and duration of the bleeding may be alarming, but it’s a completely normal part of the postpartum journey. Maternity pads are necessary during this stage.

The Emotional Rollercoaster

An emotional rollercoaster will take place after childbirth, this is not typically discussed in depth, but it should be. With all the hormonal changes, the sleep deprivation as well as the responsibility of taking care of a newborn, it can cause emotions to be heightened. There are the baby blues which can include mood swings, crying for no real reason, anxiety and difficulty sleeping. In some cases, these emotions can progress into postpartum depression. This is a serious condition that requires medical intervention. Understanding these possible emotional challenges can help you manage your mental health and get the help you may need.

The Physical Demands of Breastfeeding

Breastfeeding is often painted as a natural and simple process, but the reality can be very different. Many new mothers experience latching issues, sore nipples, and milk supply problems. The physical demands of breastfeeding, like the frequency of feedings and the need for nighttime nursing, can be exhausting. The expectation to exclusively breastfeed, combined with social expectations, may increase stress. Recognising that breastfeeding can be difficult and seeking advice from lactation consultants can make a big difference.

The Need for Support

The importance of support during and after childbirth cannot be underestimated.  Many women are surprised to discover how much they rely on their partners, family members, and friends during this time. The physical recovery, emotional adjustments, and demands of caring for a newborn require a strong support network. Unfortunately, some new mothers are left without enough help, resulting in feelings of isolation and anxiety.  It helps to establish a support network and know when to seek assistance.

The Bonding Process

The process of bonding with a newborn can also be a surprise. While some mothers feel an instant connection with their baby, others may find that it takes longer for the bond to develop. Hoping for instant love and attachment can lead to feelings of guilt or feeling inadequacy. Understanding that bonding can take time can help reduce some of these anxiety around this issue. 

The Pressure to “Bounce Back”

The social pressure to “bounce back” to pre-pregnancy weight and fitness levels can be intense and unrealistic for most new mothers. New mothers can feel pressured to look and feel a certain way shortly after giving birth, which can be harmful to their physical and emotional health. The reality is that the body needs time to recover after childbirth and the focus should be on healing and bonding with the baby rather than physical appearance.

While giving birth is an amazing and powerful experience, it is also full of unexpected challenges that are not talked about openly.  Expectant mothers can be better prepared for this journey by gaining knowledge to help them along the way which  can help manage expectations and deal with the complexities of childbirth. Above everything it is essential to handle this experience with empathy and self love and make sure to get the support  you will need to move through this phase of transformation smoothly.