WAYS TO STRENGTHEN YOUR MARRIAGE DURING TOUGH TIMES
Written by Feba Maryann
Signing official papers that legalise your marriage is the easiest part of the long journey that lies ahead. The challenges that come into your life after your marriage could test your relationship, it requires both partners to work together for resolving it. Conflicts are common in any marriage, but it needs to be solved with proper communication and understanding before it turns into something ugly. It is interesting to note that couples who come out of tough times together tend to form stronger bonds.
Respect Your Partner
Your partner is a human being with his or her own sets of opinions and choices. Learn to respect those choices and opinions. Respect includes trusting them, being reliable, and encouraging them. You also need to understand that your partner has a set of boundaries, you need to respect it.
Introspect And Change Your Ways
If you and your partner had a recent fight and you think you have done nothing wrong, take a while to go through everything that happened. Ask yourself if whatever you’ve done it right, try to look at it from your spouse’s perspective.
Rather than putting all the blame on your partner, try to figure out your mistakes and try to change it accordingly. Focus on changing yourself more than changing your partner’s ways. This ensures that you don’t point fingers at each other whilst working towards improving the relationship.
Communication
Communication is very important for any relationship to sustain. You should be able to talk to your partner about anything. If you choose not to talk much to your spouse about your problems, establishing a non-toxic relationship can be pretty hard. Be honest and don’t hide anything from your significant other. Try to ask thought-provoking questions every day, this’ll help you understand them better, significantly improving your bond.
Work As A Team
Know that you’re in this together and that both of you will need to work equally hard to resolve any issues you may face. Every issue you face may be unique and must be dealt with separately but it is imperative to remember you’re on the same team and not enemies.
Taking walks together may help reinforce this thought. Studies show that when you move in the same direction physically, your mind tends to think of it as you are both working towards a collective goal together.
If your spouse feels low, be there for them and provide them with the support they need. Just like how any team works, have each other’s backs. If you think they may be going on a wrong path, try talking to them about it. If you criticise them, be constructive. Refuse to give up on them, no matter what.
Give Them Space
There are times in a relationship when either of you may need some off time from each other. It is difficult to find that balance between too much time together and spending too little. If you spend too much time together, your partner could feel pressured and constricted. It is necessary to understand that they need their space and personal time to themselves. So, if your spouse wants to spend a night out with friends, understand this and offer to manage their errands or babysit the children. Know that what goes around, comes around.
Don’t Try To Control Your Partner
As we mentioned earlier, your partner is a whole human who can make decisions and take choices on their own. What they do is their choice and you should respect that. Controlling your partner is a very toxic trait and should be dealt with severely or it could put your entire marriage at risk. You are part of the same team, neither of you are superior or inferior to each other in any way. You are equals and should have mutual respect for each other.
Get Help
If you feel nothing seems to work, don’t hesitate to get help. You could undergo counselling and couples therapy to rebuild or strengthen your strained marriage. You could also consult a social worker or family therapist. This will help you identify root causes and solve them accordingly.