WHAT TO DO WHEN YOUR KID KEEPS TELLING LIES

April 30, 2024 /

Written by Olivia Arrow

It’s normal for kids to lie sometimes, but when it becomes a habit, it can be frustrating for parents. It’s important to understand why they’re doing it before you can address the issue. 

Here are some common reasons:

  • They’re scared of getting in trouble or getting punished.
  • They want attention or approval from adults or other kids.
  • They want to protect their self-esteem or avoid feeling shame or embarrassment.
  • They’re playing pretend or their imagination is running wild.
  • It can be a sign of an underlying mental health issue, like anxiety or depression.

So, what can you do when you notice your kid lying a lot? Here are some ideas:

Talk to them about it in a calm and non-judgmental way. Find out why they’re lying and let them know that it’s okay to tell the truth.

Encourage open communication by listening to them and taking their feelings into consideration.

Set clear boundaries and consequences for lying, but also make sure they know that you love them and want to work together to solve problems.

Give them plenty of chances to practise being honest and acknowledge them when they do the right thing.

If you suspect that there might be an underlying issue, such as a mental health problem, it’s best to talk to a doctor or therapist for help.

Remember, kids learn by example, so be honest with them and model good behaviour. And if you’re ever feeling stressed about it, just breathe and remind yourself that it’s a normal part of growing up.

How to Respond to Lies

When your child lies, it’s important to respond in a calm and constructive manner. Avoid harsh punishments or accusations, as these can damage your relationship and make the child less likely to be honest in the future. Instead, try the following steps:

Stay Calm And Avoid Overreacting: It’s natural to feel frustrated, but it’s crucial to remain composed and approach the situation with empathy.

Talk To Your Child Privately: Choose a time and place where you can talk to your child without distractions.

Express Your Concern: Let your child know that you’re aware of their lying and that it concerns you. Explain why lying is not acceptable behaviour.

Listen To Their Explanation: Give your child a chance to explain why they lied. Listen attentively and try to understand their perspective.

Discuss The Consequences: Explain that there will be consequences for lying, but focus on natural and logical consequences that are related to the behaviour. For example, if your child lies about completing a chore, they may have to complete the chore again.

Set Clear Expectations: Establish clear rules and expectations regarding lying. Explain that honesty is important and that there are no excuses for lying.

Praise Honesty: When your child tells the truth, even if it’s difficult, acknowledge and praise their honesty. This will reinforce positive behaviour.

Addressing Underlying Issues

If your kid’s lying is getting worse or they’re displaying other concerning behaviours, it could be a sign of some underlying emotional or mental health issues that need to be addressed. Here are some things you can do about it:

Talk To Your Kid’s Teacher Or School Counsellor: They might’ve noticed something and have some insights or suggestions for you.

Consider Getting Professional Help: If you’re worried that your kid’s lying might be a symptom of something deeper, it couldn’t hurt to talk to a child psychologist or therapist. They can assess your kid’s behaviour and offer some advice.

Create A Supportive Environment: Kids who feel loved, safe, and secure are less likely to lie. Focus on making your home a place where your kid feels comfortable being honest and open with you.

Preventing Future Lies

Besides dealing with their current behaviour, it’s also important to come up with ways to stop them from lying in the future. Here are some tips:

Keep The Lines Of Communication Open: Make sure your kid feels comfortable talking to you about how they feel and what’s on their mind. Let them know you’re always there to listen and that you trust them.

Be A Good Role Model: Kids learn by watching the adults around them. So, be honest and transparent in your own dealings.

Create A Positive, Supportive Home Environment: If your kid feels loved, respected, and valued, they’re less likely to lie. Make sure your home is a place where they feel comfortable just being themselves.

Encourage Honest Playtime: Play games with your kid that focus on honesty and truthfulness.

Teach Them About Consequences: Explain to your kid that lying has consequences and that honesty is always the best policy.

Lying in children can be a tough thing to deal with, but it’s important to remember that most of the time, it’s just them trying to cope with something they don’t understand or feel really uncomfortable about. Instead of getting mad or punishing them, try to figure out why they’re lying and talk to them about it in a calm and supportive way. That way, you can help them learn to be honest and develop a sense of integrity. And, as with everything else, building a strong relationship based on trust and open communication is the best way to prevent kids from telling lies in the first place.