WHAT YOU NEED TO DO TO BECOME A GREAT DAD
Written by Lance Green
According to recent research, children who are positively involved with their dads perform better in school, exhibit better mental well-being, lower crime rates and ultimately attain higher levels of happiness. Spending time with your kids is vital to your child’s development and growth. With the average screen-time increasing, people find it difficult to spare time for family. Many dads are reluctant to spend time with their kids because of the generation gap and their inability to relate to the trends of the current generation. As a result, they miss out on the opportunity to bond and establish emotional intimacy with their children.
You need to be able to put your child in front of you, be a positive role model and protect your child from harm, at the same time allow them to make mistakes and learn from them. The key word here is education. Children tend to observe and learn; being a good example for them to learn from is highly effective. They imitate your behaviour, sometimes even the characteristics you aren’t really proud of. So, get to know yourself and how perceive you as your children learn from you directly or indirectly. Your kids need to be taught what is right and what is wrong, and see their father demonstrate this daily.
The environment in which you grew up will affect how you take on your role as a father. Some parents bring in emotional baggage from the past and try to parent using the same methodology. Having a tough childhood is hard, but inflicting that on your children only repeats the cycle. Make a difference by giving your child the emotional support you never had. This helps you to overcome the hurt from your childhood and leave it all behind.
Keeping unreasonable expectations on your child can also keep you distant from your child. A kid should be able to enjoy their childhood, free from academic stress and unrealistic expectations. As an adult, your child should remember you as a doting dad who was always there when they needed you. Burdening them with dreams that you couldn’t accomplish keeps them away. Help your child understand your desires and assess their strengths and set achievable goals. Talk to them about their interests and their aspirations in life. Allow them to explore the world the way they want to. Encourage them to do their best but avoid getting angry when they don’t perform as expected. The thinking that the dad only needs to provide the family with financial security is an age-old perception that needs to be changed. Both parents need to be involved in their child’s development. A father should be able to give his children love and warmth. Don’t be afraid to tell your child you love them and how proud you are of them. Show your love through action and words, never withhold it.
Consider your roles and responsibilities as a father. Ask yourself which ones mean the most and follow them to the best of your ability. Being a good father is one of the most important and difficult things you can do! Spend each day listening and talking with your children.
If you need help, check the community for resources, including upbringing classes. It can be helpful to talk and spend time with other dad and talk about the issues you face. If you don’t have a good relationship with your dad, try talking to someone, perhaps a counsellor or family member before your baby arrives so that it does not interfere with your relationship with your child.
Remember, you do not have to deal with every part of paternity at once. In the early years, a lot of upbringing involves mastering skills and practice taught in birth classes. You can’t perfect it at one go, it takes time and effort. For instance: when you decided to marry your wife, were you sure you would turn out to be the ideal husband? Probably not. You learnt with innumerable fights and arguments to along the way with your wife. Don’t stress yourself about being a perfect dad, don’t be scared of messing it up, nobody was a pro in the beginning.