WHEN IS THE RIGHT TIME FOR A SECOND CHILD?

September 22, 2020 /

Written by Feba Maryann    

Are all your friends busy giving birth to their second babies? Do you feel like your child needs somebody to keep him/her company? Or do you just miss being pregnant and taking care of a baby?    

Just when you thought that you were done with sleepless nights, breastfeeding and nappy changes, your mind suddenly gets overwhelmed with thoughts of having a second child.    

The World Health Organisation recommends a minimum two-year gap between pregnancies. Infants born in between the 18-month time period are more prone to pregnancy risks. But nobody can predict the perfect time for you to have your second child. Each family is unique with different financial and cultural backgrounds. However, here are a few factors you need to take into consideration while thinking of having a second child.    

  1. Increased Expenses   

Are you capable of managing the costs of another child in your family? From initial hospital expenses to education funds, bringing another child into the family can increase family expenses. You need to check if your budget can take the hit of another maternity leave if you are working. You will also need to fork out money for baby items, daycare and activities. Educational expenses, family trips and vacations also weigh in. Come up with a preliminary family budget to calculate near future and distant future costs to make your decision.    

  1. Your Health    

Most Obstetricians and Gynaecologists recommend a minimum age gap of 18 months to give your body enough time to replenish the depleted nutrients, lose the extra weight and get your reproductive health into its regular functioning. Back-to-back pregnancies are also highly demanding. Your toddler will constantly keep you on your toes. If you are breastfeeding during our second pregnancy, you need to be extra careful about keeping your nutrient levels high. Back-to-back pregnancies also increase the risk of illness, death and preterm delivery.   

  1. Age Gap   

If you still feel conflicted on how long to wait, here’s what you need to expect from different sibling spacing scenarios:   

  • <2 years   

Kids with less than a 2 years gap tend to be less jealous of each other. The first 2 years can be tough, your mommy schedule will turn out to be quite chaotic. However, they will grow up as adorable little playmates with an inseparable bond. The parenting phase will also get over relatively quickly.    

You might miss out on a lot of milestones because you’re always tensed. Your marriage may also get tested with sleepless nights, feedings, nappy changes and laundry. But after that, they can entertain each other with shared toys and activities. Your kids almost grow up as twins with a close bond. However, you should consider the health risks involved with having a second baby so soon.   

  • 2-4 years   

This is the best age gap to help preserve your sanity. Career-wise, it is ideal. You can go back to work before you take your second maternity leave. You will also be able to give undivided attention to your firstborn during the first crucial years. Your parental schedule will be less chaotic. You and your husband can also find enough time for each again. Although, your firstborn could get frustrated with all the attention your second child gets. This could pave a path to sibling rivalry.    

  • >5 years   

Each kid will be able to enjoy the benefits of being the only child for a few more years. They might not like sharing the spotlight with another baby. Talk to him/her about this, tell your child about the potential changes in your family dynamics. You have 9 months to prepare them for the good and potentially tough changes coming. As they don’t belong to the same age group, your kids won’t turn out to be great playmates. Nevertheless, the older child may take on more of a mentor or caretaking role for the younger ones.    

To sum up, listen to what your heart tells you to do. Each age group has its own benefits and challenges. Think about how you would feel about another baby. After that, discuss it with your partner. Reach a decision with which both of you are comfortable and happy.