WHY AND HOW PARENTING STYLES MATTER

Written by Feba Maryann

‘What kind of a parent does my child see me as?’ is a question that often plagues the minds of many parents. This kind of thinking is a sure sign of the desire to be a better parent. Even though choosing how to raise your kids is a private matter, experts believe that certain parenting styles nurture children better than others. 

Good parenting starts right from the moment a child is conceived. Raising kids can be frustrating but also rewarding if done properly. Moreover, it is a well-known fact that childhood lessons and experiences shape the adult that each child becomes. This is why choosing the parenting style should be done with utmost care. 

Impact Of Parenting Styles On Children  

According to psychologists, there are four basic types of parenting. Each of these parenting styles produces drastically different outcomes in children because of the difference in levels of parental involvement, communication, warmth, and methods of disciplining.  

Authoritarian Parenting 

Obedience is the prime concern of parents here. They enforce their rules harshly and do not stand for negotiations. Constantly seen giving orders to the children, the relationship lacks warmth and communication most of the time.  

Low self-esteem is a common trait that children under authoritarian parents possess. Since parents refuse to involve the children in any problem-solving, they find life as adults confusing. They tend to look for someone else to make decisions for them and always fear making the wrong choice. These children also tend to be less trusting and highly emotionally distant in adulthood.  

Permissive Parenting 

Leniency and easy forgiveness are expected in the permissive style of parenting. They interfere very less and remain of the standing that parents should be more like friends. A superficial relationship is formed with the parents because disciplining is almost non-existent.    

While the permissive style of parenting seems attractive in many ways, it results in a lack of self-discipline in children. Their academic performance is poor, and they run higher risks for diseases. Some children under this parenting develop poor social skills due to a lack of boundaries.  

There is a high chance that children may become over-demanding or indulge in attention-seeking behaviour during adolescence. On the brighter side, since the parents interfere little in their life, children can make judgments for themselves.  

Disengaged Parenting 

Disengaged parents wait for their children to raise themselves. Providing only minimal attention and guidance, these parents rarely know the whereabouts of their children. Rules are almost non-existent and never enforced. The parent-child relationship lacks warmth and seems neglectful at times.  

This style of parenting is extremely unsuitable for children since they do not receive appropriate care and attention. It can cause children to become sad, angry, or resentful at the people around them. Disengaged parenting makes young children believe that their needs will never be met. These kids develop into insecure and unhappy adults.  

Authoritative Parenting 

Also described as supportive parenting, this is regarded as the form of parenting that yields the best results. Here, there is a positive relationship between both the involved parties. Adequate care, as well as attention, is given to the children to facilitate proper development.  

Parents have rules set in place and enforce them, but they also negotiate with the children about it. More than punishments, these parents support their children to correct their mistakes. Authoritative parents also use a regular reward system to reinforce good behaviour in children.  

Children who grow in such environments feel validated. They are ranked as more successful, happier, and emotionally stable as adults. These children are adept at evaluating their own problems and making sound judgments.   

Final Thoughts     

Some people follow their parents’ footsteps in parenting while others implement the polar opposite of what they grew up with. The popular opinion is that authoritative parenting is the most suitable since it promotes healthy family bonds and is more likely to produce happy and overall well-adjusted children. 

Parenting styles create a difference in how a child grows to see themselves and the world around them and how they interact with it. Many parents develop their own parenting techniques by combining various styles. Certainly, parents should continually work to find different ways to appropriately nurture the children.