WHY DOESN’T MY TODDLER HAVE FRIENDS? UNDERSTANDING THE SOCIAL LANDSCAPE
Written by Lucy Hall
Why doesn’t my toddler have any friends? This is a very common concern that at some stage parents will have. It can be upsetting to witness our children struggle with social interaction because parents have a deep seated desire for them to connect with others. Before jumping to conclusions and asking yourself what’s wrong with your toddler, it’s important to understand that the idea of friendship for toddlers is different from what adults experience.
Navigating the World of Play
Toddlers are still developing their social skills and learning how to interact with others at this developmental stage. Most toddlers can be self centred and frequently find it hard to share, take turns or comprehend the different viewpoints of others. When they play together, it’s not necessarily a real collaboration but rather a variety of activities they are doing together.
Common Reasons for Limited Social Interaction
Developmental Stage: Social skills actually develop gradually, even though some toddlers may appear to be better at socialising than others. A typical important stage of this development is parallel play.
Developmental Stage: While it may seem like some toddlers are better at socialising, the development of social skills is a gradual process. It’s completely normal for toddlers to engage in parallel play as part of their development. Parallel play is when two or more children play alongside each other without directly interacting.
Limited Opportunities: Toddlers may have fewer interactions with other children to play and socialise with. This could be as a result of fewer playgroup dates, a failure to play with other children in daycare or preschool, or perhaps there are no suitable places within their communities for them.
Social Skills Challenges: Toddlers can experience delays in social development for a variety of different reasons. This could be caused by sensory problems, delayed language development, or problems paying attention or controlling their emotions.
Understanding the Signs of Social Development
It’s important to understand the difference between a toddler who simply enjoys solo play and one who might be struggling to connect with other children. Some signs to look out for that indicate that your toddler is gaining the skills need to have healthy social interactions:
The following signs that your toddler is gaining the skills needed to develop healthy social interactions with others include:
Initiates Interaction: Your toddler likes playing with other children and shares toys, smiles or makes other gestures.
Shows Interest In Peers: Your toddler is showing an interest in other children and enjoys watching them play
Responds To Social Cues: Your toddler responds to other children’s emotions and follows simple instructions?
Engages In Reciprocal Play: Your toddler participates in back and forth play with other children.
Ways You Help Your Toddler Make Friends
While its important to be mindful that toddlers will need time to build their social skills, there are certain ways you can assist and encourage them along the way as they discover how navigate interactions with others:
Create Opportunities: Arrange playdates with other toddlers, enrol your child in a playgroup or age appropriate activity that has other toddler present and visit parks or playgrounds that allow them to interact with other children.
Model Positive Social Behaviour: Show your toddler what positive social interactions should look like, you can do this by participating in activities that involve sharing, taking turns and expressing empathy for others.
Encourage Communication: You can help your toddler learn the words and phrases that they will require to communicate their wants and needs to other children.
Build confidence: You can boost your toddlers self esteem by praising them for making an effort to connect with others, even the small steps. Encouragement leads to an increase in confidence which is what they need!
Don’t Force Interactions: Try to avoid interactions that may have a negative affect on your toddler. You should intervene if your toddler is in an uncomfortable situation or is stressed. Continue giving them the chances they require to connect with others at their own pace.
When Should You Seek Professional Help
Toddler’s social skills development can vary from child to child. If you have concerns about your child’s social skills development, consult with a professional, a paediatrician or a child development expert and they can evaluate how your toddler is progressing in terms of social skills and suggest appropriate therapies if necessary.
Every toddler will develop at their social skills in their own time and more importantly, at their own pace. You can help them by focusing on creating a positive environment that encourages and natures their social interactions, not forgetting to celebrate their growth.